Chapter Twenty-Nine: Kaz pt.2

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"Kaz?" Her voice broke at the end of the word. That's when he noticed the tears in her eyes, reflecting in the moonlight.

Before he could tell himself not to, he was already around the chair and standing at her side, his hands hovering uselessly inches from her arms. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Inej pressed her lips together tightly and she shook her head, blinking back the tears. "Nothing, I'm fine," she whispered with an intake of breath that caught in her throat. She closed the door behind her and moved around him, walking towards the bed.

"Inej please, did Dawa hurt you?" A thick venom entered his words as he asked the question. If that canker had done anything to her, he would raze this place to the ground, consequences be damned.

"No." Her back was still turned to him as she tried to hide her face, but he could see the small tremor in her shoulders. His gut twisted.

He slowly stepped closer to her as he whispered her name, only coming to a stop when he was just behind her. "Inej, what happened on your mission?"

His hand was centimeters from her shoulder but he couldn't bring himself, once again, to close the gap. Inej didn't respond, she kept her back turned but her shoulders started to shake harder.

He cursed himself. This is why he hadn't wanted to come alone, why he'd decided to stay away from her in the first place. If Jesper had been there, he would have already wrapped her in a hug, trying to comfort her in a way that Kaz just didn't know how. He was useless to her and he would always be, at least in all the ways that mattered.

When Inej released a hiccupped breath, his heart constricted in his chest and he felt like something inside him was breaking. He might have been useless and Jesper might have been better for this, but that didn't matter right now. He was there, and she was hurting.

He brought his hand gently to her shoulder, closing the small gap. "Inej, talk to me."

Inej turned and looked up at him with her sad, wide brown teary eyes and the look of pain in them hit him like a shot to the gut. Inej sniffed and then she broke down sobbing, pushing her head into his chest and her hands coming up to cling to the front of his shirt.

For a moment Kaz couldn't move, frozen by the sudden touch. But Inej was starting to lean heavily on him as she cried and he moved his hands to her arms to hold her up.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but as time passed his arms moved to more fully wrap around her. He pulled her into himself wanting to protect her small body from whatever it was that had her crying. He wanted to go out into the world and destroy whoever had done this to her, but for now, he was content to just be there for her. Finally having enough strength to help her stand.

He could feel her wet tears soaking through his shirt, but soon he also could feel the tremor of her shoulders still. Her breathing hitched a few times but slowly it started to even out and her gut-wrenching sobs quieted. He had expected her to pull away from him when the tears stopped, but she made no move out of his grip.

When she stayed within the circle of his arms, he took a chance and let his head fall onto the top of hers, resting his cheek against her soft, braided hair. Inej's hands let go of their grip on his shirt and he thought he'd gone too far but then her arms snaked around to his back and she buried herself in his shoulder.

His next breaths were shallow and he feared that one single wrong movement would break this spell allowing them to be so close, but still the moment went on. Every second that passed he waited for the waters to rise, for memories of the past to come and haunt him, but none came for him. He still wore his gloves, and though he cursed them for not letting him feel her full warmth, he was grateful for their reassurance. They were his safety net, one he wished he could get rid of to be like Inej, strung and sturdy on the tightrope, but they meant that he could stay here for a while longer. And for that he was grateful.

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