Shadows: A Six of Crows Fan fic

Chapter two: Kaz

As soon as he heard the sound of the door closing behind Jesper, Kaz sank back into his chair. His shoulders hunched and his head fell into his hands, elbows resting on the chair's armrests. He was finally alone, just like he wanted... like he always wanted, right? At this point he wasn't very sure about anything anymore. What he should be doing was making plans to take over what was left of Pekka Rollins' empire. What he should be doing was counting this money and making sure the Dregs could afford expanding into the building he'd bought next door. What he should be doing was making plans for the next big score that would get him what he needed. Instead, he'd spent every waking moment making plans to get Inej back, the person that he unfortunately truly needed. None of his future plans relied on her. He could get Roeder to do everything he would need Inej for. He admittedly wasn't quite as good, but he was still good enough. None of the plans needed Inej. And yet he still needed her. Apparently, his sanity still needed her.

He'd spent every waking minute since she'd left thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong on that blasted ship of hers. Why had he even bought it? That saints forsaken ship that was practically a dingy now that he thought about it, had taken her off to saints knew where and she believed she was going to take down slavers with it. The audacity she had to have to think that that ship could do anything when he...

"Me nothing. She can do it and you know it." Kaz whispered, looking into a small mirror that hung from the wall in front of him. The mirror was positioned perfectly to where the players couldn't see anyone's cards, but from the door of his office he could see the dealers' hands. He'd had it put up when Rojakke, one of his old dealers, was suspected of skimming and, after proving the slug was a thief, he just never found the time to take the mirror down. Now seemed like a great time.

Kaz abruptly got up from the table and limped over to the mirror forgoing the cane. He got to the mirror and was about to take it off its hook when his eye caught a look at his face again. His hair was a mess, if Nina was still here, she'd have a field day with it. The bruises from when he'd fought his way down the stairs of the slat to de-throne Per Haskell had faded, but now he had a few new scars to add to his growing collection. His nose was tweaked to the left from it being broken too many times, the white cut through his brow stuck out like a sore thumb, and now he had a few small white knicks that made it look like he'd done a bad job shaving if you looked too closely.

What he really looked like was a thug. A thug with bags under his eyes and who really needed a bath. Kaz continued to take the mirror off the wall then threw it in a waste bin behind the bar. He saw no reason for it anymore. He went back to the table that his money was scattered across and sat down. In truth, he hadn't counted any of it yet. Not that he hadn't tried, he had. But every time he'd start, his mind would wander to Inej and what could be happening to her at that moment without him there to help and then he'd have to start all over again. Either that or Jesper's constant rattling would make him loose track.

Kaz took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment to appreciate the silence. He hadn't had a moment alone for awhile and it was nice to just hear nothing for once. Him and his kruge, they were back to the basics again and even if it were just for a few moments, he would accept the simplicity of it. He let out the breath again, picked up the kruge, and started counting once more.

⸎

By the time he'd finished putting the books and money away in his office, Pim and Anika had walked in to get ready for the day. Technically, there could always be customers at the Club but there were always a few hours in the day, especially in the early hours of the morning, when no one was around and only a couple of people had to watch the place. Jesper and him had taken the shift the past few nights and he wouldn't lie, he liked the silence it brought with it. Well, what silence he could get with Jesper around.