Sweet Little Pains

9

Simon frowned at this vaguely daunting statement, premonition suddenly saturating his blood. "Elizabeth-"

"Simon you know I'm going to do whatever I want, so you might as well quit it." She said bluntly, her tone bored and almost distracted. "Just give in, and let me work my magic. Trust me, it's easier that way for the both of us."

Simon shook his head once, his grey eyes filled with a steely determination. "I'm not going to make her life harder than I have already."

Elizabeth looked at him, her gaze soft with what resembled compassion and sympathy. "You didn't do anything wrong, Simon. Not yet, anyway. And choosing to forfeit that profound, deep connection you both have is and would be the worst thing you could ever do to her. To yourself."

He watched as she lifted the flute to her mouth, lightly placing the rim to her red painted lips. She took another small sip of her drink.

"Deny it if you must Simon, but you know it's true."

Unable to form a reply, Simon instead turned his attention to his radiantly happy daughter surrounded by her friends.

             ***

The drive back that night was a silent one, with Clare stonily glaring out of the window, radiating a forbidding, cold energy that he chose to stay clear of. There was no use in slotting his own head into the guillotine when the executioner was not in the mood to kill, was there?

They had come back to the city alone, as they had earlier in the afternoon. The rest of the people who had been present for the first testing were staying the night there in a nearby hotel, but as Clare's work required her to be there very early, and him with his packed work schedule, they had opted for leaving rather than staying overnight.

The moment Simon had parked his car across the street from the café, she had immediately left, only momentarily pausing to say a coolly polite 'thank you.' Then she had disappeared into the side of the building, not bothering to use the front since the café was already closed for the day.

That had been five days ago.

Five days. He had spent five days working on autopilot, five evenings alone brooding silently over Elizabeth's words. He'd spent five days missing her, craving her, till he couldn't bear it anymore.

He had to see her.

Simon slowly drove up the street, mulling as he did. He had no right to do this - he knew that. He had no right, coming into her life again and rearranging it to suit his purposes. He had already done enough, caused her enough grief. He didn't need to make matters worse by appearing constantly in her life.

Simon knew this, but he couldn't help himself. He needed her. The word need didn't even really completely comprehend how much he needed her. He craved her, every second of the day, day and night. It was as if all those years he had spent separated from her had accumulated, creating a deep, gnawing hole in him that only more of her could hope to fill.

And though he knew his actions were far from fair, that she deserved to be given exactly what she wanted from him - not more of his presence in her life than was necessary - he couldn't do it. God help him, he just couldn't. Not even for her. He was selfish that way.

Simon exited his car after parking, his heart already halfway in his throat as he made his way across the street to the café. The little bells overhead jingled as he pushed the door open, heralding his arrival. A few faintly curious gazes shot up towards his direction...and then did a double take.

The employees of the Icing On The Top café looked to the door, with welcoming smiles on their faces, which immediately changed slightly into one of surprise. Then the smiles returned, eager for the most part, but a little wary.