(Fu Xuan x Reader) Trouble With Divination

Part 7: Frozen Window

(Fu Xuan POV)

The air is cold. I sat at my desk, dazed under the dark cloak of my room. 

It hurts to breath, my throat stung from the frost. At my desk, my gaze wandered to the window next to me.

My fingertips reached out, briefly touching the pane, but I flinched back, fearing my fingertips would freeze off. My gaze shifted upwards, but even the stars were too bright to look at.

My eyes led me to my door. I had run out of work to do, and now my thoughts were left to run wild. I'd wanted to leave, wanted to get myself together, but the air was always the coldest around that door.

...What am I even doing? Why am I even hiding in here...

My eyes stayed locked on that heavy, unbudging exit. Hopefully Jing or Bailu would come to see me soon.

Maintainer...

What am I even doing, thinking of him? I went ahead and fell in love with a fantasy on my own, expected him to return the feelings I pushed onto him on my own, and in the end, when I was rejected, I ended up like this...

What kind of relationship do I want with him from now on anyway?

The question kept ringing, incessant through my mind, but each time, no answer returned.

...

The room was getting colder. I sunk myself into my own arms, trying my best to stay warm, breathing a heavy sigh.

Knock knock, "Master diviner?"

My body jolted back awake, startled by the sudden voice from beyond the door. It was the voice of one of the apprentices interning at the commission.

"Master diviner? Are you there? The Ten-Lords Commission needs you to go over these reports."

Please don't call me that, I don't deserve that title. Your master diviner is a shivering mess. 

I stood up, slovenly. I still had a job to do and a role to play. I cleared my throat. Breath in. Breath out. You're the master diviner.

Understood, leave the reports in the cabinet.

I had no choice but to be the master diviner.

***

(Maintainer POV)

I ran. I could hear nothing but my panting as my legs carried me to the Matrix of Prescience Ultima.

What could I do? What could I offer or say to make things right?

Huixing!

"Ah, maintainer...? What's wrong?"

The little vidyadharan girl was taking a break on a bench by the Matrix of Prescience Ultima. She turned to face me in a slight panic, eyes wide.

I need help, about Fu.

Her eyebrows furrowed in suspicion.

"About Fu? Anything you want to know about her, you should ask her yourself."

Her arms were crossed as she looked up at me, meeting my eyes,

I... hurt Fu.

I couldn't maintain the eye contact, my gaze wandered to my feet.

She was trying to open up to me, to be vulnerable, but I just pushed her away and hurt her without a second thought. I didn't realize the weight behind anything she said. I didn't understand her at all. I- I don't know what to do.

"..."

She was silent, deep in thought.

"What kind of relationship do you even want with Fu?"

...

What did I want? A romance? A friendship...?

No, I'd get nowhere thinking like that. I looked at Huixing, her eyes anticipating my answer.

I don't know, but I want to figure that out with her.

The corners of Huixing's mouth curled upwards, a smile on her face.

"Well there's your answer."