Careful What You Wish For...

T H I R T Y

Vivian's POV

I woke up in the middle of the night and Noah was gone from the bed. I check the time, and its only 1:30 in the morning. I get up, and make my way through the house to find him. He's not in the computer room. Not in the kitchen or living room. I go to grab my phone, and call him. "Hello?" He answers. "Where are you, Noah?" I ask, half awake. 

"I'm over here at Nick's house. I needed to talk to him." Noah sniffles on the other end. Is he crying?  " Why couldn't you just call him?" I ask, sitting down on the couch. "Please, Vivian. Don't do this right now" he pleads. I sigh, and say "fine". "When are you coming back home?"

"In a little bit, Viv. I just got here." We get off the phone, and I grab myself a glass of water. When I turn around, all I see is the hole in the wall from last night. I can't help but to replay what happened in my head. I have never seen Noah that mad. All because of me. After I finish my glass of water, I sit down on the couch to watch TV until Noah comes home. I wonder what he is talking to Nick about. In all reality, he's probably complaining about me. I push that aside, and turn on re-runs of Friends to get my mind off of the situation. About 3 episodes go by before Noah comes home. Without saying a word, Noah sits next to me.

He smells of liquor. "Did you drink while you were there?" I ask Noah quietly. He makes a hard sigh, "I only had 2 shots. I'm fine". I shake my head. "Noah, I'm not trying to start anything, but please don't do that. I don't want to lose you." I look over at him, with tears welling in my eyes. I can't believe he would put himself in danger like that. "Vivian, I'm okay. I promise." Noah places his hands on my cheeks before giving me a kiss. "Are we okay?" I ask him once we have pulled away from the kiss. 

"Yes, I just needed to cool off, and clear my head. That's all. I'm going to fix the wall tomorrow. I'm sorry Viv." I nod my head, and wipe the tears from my eyes. Noah and I get comfy on the couch, and we both fall asleep until later in the morning. 

..............

It's been a few weeks since the incident, and things have been okay between Noah and I. Right now, I'm trying to finish up my third design for the day. I'm exhausted. Even though I didn't take the promotion, work has really kicked it up a notch. I honestly just want to quit my job, but I don't know how Noah would feel about it. We've had small talk here and there about actually getting a house. I think Noah and I have enough money to put a down payment on a house rather than renting. That just means that I can't quit my job anytime soon. I've sent Noah a few listings already of houses that I think we would both like. 

I say fuck it, and call work to tell them I'm "sick". They accept my excuse, and I close my computer for the day. I get dressed with an idea in mind on what to do today. I make my way out to my car, pulling out of the parking lot once its started. I stop at a Dunkin' on my way to my destination to get an iced coffee. I haven't had cold coffee in so long, it's really a shame. 

I soon pull up to the cemetery that my father is buried at, and make my way to his plot. I haven't been out here since he was buried here. I sit down in front of his headstone, just reading what it says. 

Randall Carter

Born 1974

Father, Husband, Son

I sit for a minute, taking everything in. "Hi dad," I start out, "its been a while since I've seen you. I miss you so much. I know its kind of cliche to be sitting here talking to a headstone. I had nothing else to do and I have so much to catch you up on. l'll spare you the bad details, but I've met a great guy, dad." I smile to myself. I push back the tears that are threatening my eyes. "His name is Noah. We've been together for almost a year. He's helped me through so much, daddy. I can't even begin to explain. I know you would sit there and tell me that it's too early to say this, but I love him."