Careful What You Wish For...

T W E N T Y - E I G H T

Noah's POV

Vivian just apologized to me about how she's been. I was extremely surprised by it all. She went in depth, telling me everything she felt sorry for. I was appreciative. She went on to tell me that she was diagnosed with something called BPD. I have no idea what it is, so I guess I have some research to do.

I have still yet to say anything about the other night. When I grabbed her and shoved her away. I honestly don't know what had came over me. When it happened, I honestly scared myself. I still put on that mean front, but when I shut the door, I broke down. I have never done anything like that before. I had cried in the shower and then livestreamed all night. Maybe, if I just push it aside, it'll be like it didn't happen. I feel bad for Vivian, though. She was diagnosed with something that apparently isn't treatable.

Nick and Folio have been hanging out with me a little more, since Nick apologized as well. My heart was relieved when he came over and did that. I missed that man so much, even if it sounds gay.

Today, I'm taking Nick and Folio over to Jolly's house to show them some of the stuff I've worked on. They all know each other, but neither Nick or Folio have really interacted with Jolly. The good thing is they all have their own musical talent. If I can, I'm going to convince them to do something for my music. So far I'm only posting it on SoundCloud. I'm not really looking to go anywhere with it, it's just something I enjoy doing.

I've wrote a few more things since being over here at Jolly's, and I'm hoping he can help me finish out one of the song lyrics.

Once there, I reintroduce them to each other, and immediately they are talking about music. "Dude, you don't understand how good this man's talent is. He's made some fantasic music so far." Jolly says, talking about me. I get flushed, taking in the compliment. We show Nick and Folio some of the things I've completed, and they seem to really like it. "Some of these would sound amazing if we did a heavier version of them. Instead of just acoustics." Nick says to all of us. I tell Jolly to send both of them the songs and lyrics so they can learn it and do whatever they want on top.

"I've got this new one that I was wanting to get your opinion on. I haven't come up with much, but I figured you could weigh in on it." I pull out my notebook from my backpack, and hand it over to Jolly. "Dude just get your ass in that booth and throw it down. I would rather hear it than read it." He sets down the notebook, making me go into the makeshift booth again. I throw on the headphones, and wait until he says he's ready.

I contemplate how I want it to sound. Things like tempo, tone and rhythm. Once I've figured it out, I start singing.

It seems no matter where I look, it's always gone
With you, I know I'll never win
And it's hard to say where it went so wrong
And failed me in the end
I need relief, a failures coming on
Just breathe in deep, it's taking far too long

That's all I've wrote, but inspiration hits me. I start to belt out more lyrics.

I had you in my grip
But you're starting to slip
Bring out the worst in me
And now it's come to end
I think I'm giving in
You set my demons free

My mind draws a blank, and I take the headphones out to exit the booth. "You never seem to fail me, Noah." Jolly's smile is wide and bright. Nick and Folio seem surprised, but excited. I get them to help me write out the rest of the song, and it takes a couple of hours. Once I have lyrics down and recorded, it's time for some instruments. Jolly sends out the recording to all of us. All of us but Jolly leave, so the other guys can come up with something on their own.

Nick, Folio and I talk about it on the way back to Nick's house. About the sound we're going for with this song, and how exactly we're going to put it together.