The Checklist (Explicit Version)

Chapter 19

   The first thing I did once I pushed the door open was breathe in. And I hated it.

   I hated how the sight of Myles made me breathe easier for the first time since I learned the truth. I hated how his face lit up when he saw me, and I hated how he nearly fell in surprise as he picked himself off the blanket he laid on the grass on our lawn. I hated how he wore his distress. As if he was the one suffering.

   This was all an act. An act that he seemed to want to drag out to make me suffer.

   Whatever Remi did to him, Myles apparently saw it fair to torture me on his behalf.

   I almost tripped on the first porch stair before I grasped the railing next to me. Myles jerked himself forward, as if he planned to throw himself over to catch me. When he saw my expression, he stopped at the end of the stairs.

   "Princess—"

   "Don't call me that," I ordered, surprising him. "I don't know why you're here, and I don't care. You got what you wanted, so leave."

   His expression hardened, but his eyes probed mine. "Just let me explain—"

   "Explain what? I don't think there's anything else to say, Myles. You knew who I was when we met. You used me to get to Remi." I felt my face turning red in anger as I stomped one step lower, never moving my gaze off him. "I bet you were fucking ecstatic when I asked you to sleep with me, huh? You really showed him; that you were sleeping with his ex."

   Chest heaving, he moved a step and clenched out, "I never thought that."

   "And what did you want? Why did you come up to me that day? Did you see me? Did you watch me see Remi cheat and think, 'huh, this is a good opportunity to get back at him'? What was the freaking reason you," my voice wavered and I swallowed, "did this? I thought we were friends. I thought you..."

   I thought you cared about me.

   His eyes flashed with emotion, but his face remained tense. "Althea..."

   "The truth. For once, just answer my freaking questions."

   We were separated by one stair now, but neither of us backed down. Despite me standing two steps higher, we were the same height. I looked into his eyes. I could tell he was considering his words until the tension in his shoulders slightly loosened.

   "I saw you that night," he confirmed hoarsely, and my eyes instinctively closed. I heard him breathing harder, but he continued. "Outside of Remi's house. And I watched you walk away. I don't know why I followed you, but I did. I guess I was... curious."

   "Curious?" I scoffed, bringing my eyes to his again.

   His eyes roamed over my expression before he clenched his jaw. "I fucking swear, I never planned to do anything. Yeah, I wanted to hear you talk about my brother, but when I put you in that car, I didn't plan to see you again."

   "And what changed?"

   Instead of replying right away, his eyes lingered on mine a little longer. I squeezed the railing a tighter until he said, "The next day. You found me, and you wouldn't leave me the fuck alone." Despite his aggressive words, they came out softer than intended. "People knew to give me space. You didn't."

   "And what?" I challenged, ignoring how his words affected me. "You wanted to help me with my list because I treated you differently?"

   Spine straightening, Myles' jaw sharpened into a hard line. I was about to take his silence as an answer when he lowered his voice and said, "I wanted to see why you liked my brother." His words ripped through me. He must have seen that, because he continued with a heavier voice, "And I wanted... I just wanted to see—"

   "Don't—"

   "What was so fucking special about him. But, Althea—"

   "Stop," I shouted, closing my eyes to take a deep breath. "I heard enough. You said your peace, now get off my property. We're done. This is done. You wanna walk out with a clear conscious, go. I free you. I just want you gone. Enjoy your brother."

   Turning sharply, I made it up two steps before Myles spoke. "My parents had a meth lab in the basement. Remi was one, but I was five. They left us at home to meet someone when the whole fucking place exploded. We were taken, parents didn't fight, and we got shoved into the system. At least, I got fucking shoved." He laughed bitterly. "Remi got adopted within a month. They knew I was his brother, but they wanted a baby. Not a five year old with behavioural issues."

   "I found him right before the New Year," he explained a little faster, as if frightened I'd leave any minute. "Front page of some fucking magazine with his parents. Turns out they're real fucking philanthropists. And he looked just like our dad. And in a month, I hired a PI to find him. Little did I know, he went to school in the same city I worked in."

   "I was pissed," he said harshly, but there was a certain tinge of sadness in how he spoke. "How could I not feel pissed that my brother got adopted. Got the parents. A girl. Friends. While I got the shit end of the stick. But then it was his birthday, and I thought, maybe I meet him. Just once. And then I saw he wasn't all fucking perfect, and it made me happy."

   "I know you don't understand—"

   Without thinking, I spun on my heel and pointed a harsh finger to his chest. "No. You don't understand. I would. I would have totally understood." I pressed my teeth together, wanting to ignore how my eyes began prickling all over again. "If you just introduced yourself as Remi's brother, I would have listened to you. And the fact that you... that you wouldn't think that after meeting me just shows how much you don't know me."

   "I always listened to you. I didn't judge you," I added, my voice cracking, "For four months, Myles. I thought you... I thought we..."

   For the first time since I came outside, his face shattered. "Althea," he whispered raggedly, slowly treading up a stair. "Let me come inside. We can talk, and I'll—"

   "I want nothing from you," I spat harshly, feeling a sick pleasure of satisfaction when he flinched. "This was going to end either way. We made sure of that. So, drop it. This is done. I'm done."

   Rooted in surprise, the last thing I saw was his stunned expression before I strode to the door, slamming it before he could try and intercept it. I knew he must have shook off his shock when he banged on the door twice, calling my name. I ignored him, and Nellie and Valerie, who were idling by the kitchen, watching me with concern.

   I didn't care. I didn't try to console Nellie, nor did I attempt to smile. I just slumped underneath my comforter again. I would give myself a week before I needed to return to reality. Before my interview.

───⋅☾ ☽⋅───

happy Friday loves! We're nearing
the end (and I'm near exposing
my next book...)

See you next week ;)