Wordless

Chapter 20

"Does Hassan know?"

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Alihan's face was graced with a smile as he looked out of the window. In the distance, birds chirped and the soft sound of leaves rustling soothed him. It was a beautiful morning, and a new day had brought with it new hope , hope that perhaps today she would see him with some softness in her eyes, hope that his prayers would be answered, hope that a spark of love would be ignited somewhere in the corner of her heart.

He stepped into his shoes and walked out of the room. It was Sunday, which meant no office for either of them. He was looking forward to spending even a few fleeting moments with her.

As he reached the dining hall, he found Amma Bi greeting him. He took his usual seat at the table, and the maids began to serve him, but his eyes were searching for her. He looked at Amma Bi, who understood his silent question and the restlessness in his eyes.

"I went to call her for breakfast, she is sleeping." 

she informed him, and his heart sank, realizing he wouldn't have breakfast with her again. Nodding at her, he turned his attention to the possibility that she must be tired after working the whole week and needed rest. Nothing mattered more than her comfort and well-being, not even his aching, restless heart.

 After he finished breakfast, he left to take a walk in the garden. The memory from the day before yesterday was fresh in his mind when she told him she would get a new vase. True to her words, he found the same showpiece in the foyer the next day. If he was honest with himself, he knew he was hurt by her distant and cold behavior. But no matter what, he could never blame her. Each of her actions was justified. He had hurt her a lot, and he deserved every bit of that pain.

His mind wandered back to Raya as he watched the flowers she had planted with her own hands two summers ago when she visited. He was angry with her, but the brother in him missed her more than words could describe. She was his baby sister whom he loved dearly. Growing up, they had always been very close to each other, and their bond was beautiful. When their mother died, she fell apart. She was just eleven. He became her rock, not just her brother. He almost placed himself in the role where he could offer her the love and care of a mother. With their father always busy with work, many heavy responsibilities fell on his fragile shoulders. He was just a teenager who was forced by destiny to grow up before his time.

With his father's almost unrealistic expectations of him, his mother's dreams and hopes of his sister, he carried the weight of it all. Like any average sixteen-year-old, he had his own dreams, which he shattered with his own hands. He did everything in his power to be the best son and brother, the son his father could proudly claim as his heir at business parties, the brother his sister could rely on in tough situations, and the son his mother could look down from heaven and smile upon with pride. He did achieve all of that, but somewhere along the way, he forgot what it felt like to have vibrant colors in his own life. His personal wishes got lost, and he stopped asking for anything for himself.

But he failed, he ultimately failed.

He failed as a son when he witnessed his father's brokenness on the day he took his last breath. He failed as a brother when Raya didn't turn to him to share her pain and troubles. And he failed as a human being when he used Anna as a pawn, hurting that innocent girl merely to satisfy his ego and feed his hunger for revenge. Ironically, after years, when he wished for something for himself for the first time, it was the same girl, the same innocent girl who was meant to be nothing more than a bait. Yet she became his wish and prayer. This time, he was asking for her for himself, solely for himself, but did he deserve it?