Our Journey Of Love | ✓

~ Our Journey Of Love - 12 ~

AUTHOR'S POV : 

“Ishqi…” He woke up at 3 in the morning, panting and sweating profusely, chanting her name as if she was the only prayer his tongue knew to sing. 

“She is well, she is fine.” He closed his eyes and kept his hand on his heart, repeating this line uncountably trying to calm his racing heart. It seemed as if this was a new thing that was added to his daily schedule - waking up from the same nightmare at this very time yet somehow not letting anybody know what turbulence his mind was engrossed into. He walked up to ishqi’s ward only to  find her sleeping soundly, this though did calm his suffering soul but it also increased his urge to rush to her and engulf her in a bone crushing hug, hiding both of them from the cruelties of the world, drowning in the ocean of love. But he knew it would take a little time, and he swore to be patient all the while.  But, as they say impatience is the first step towards to attain patience and at the moment his impatient heart was screaming and begging to his reluctant brain to just sit near her, without making any noise just looking at her, that would be enough for it to calm down.

Defeating his brain, his heart won the argument. His hands went up to the door, giving it a slight push, making it open enough for him to enter. He walked towards her and sat on the chair, kept near the bed she was laying on. He looked at her for a while and when his heart got the much needed peace, he went on doing what he usually did after waking up from such petrifying nightmares - penning down all his emotions, venting all his pain and agony. He opened the small bag he carried and drew out the notebook along with the pen she gifted and started writing.

After he finished writing to his heart’s content, he looked at the clock, which showed the time as 5:30 in the morning. He decided to leave before she woke up. 2 days back, when she told him to leave, he did not show her, his face till day. But did that mean that he did not keep a check on her? Absolutely Not. He kept consulting her doctors asking them about her health, kept  on peeping at her frame from the glass door but never dared to enter inside. He was happy till she was safe and happy even if it meant him going far away from her sight.

He stood up and took a last glance at her and started to move, only to be stopped. He felt a tug on his wrist. His excited and emotional self turned around expecting it to be her, stopping him, but when he turned, to his very dismay it wasn't her but her bracelet that got stuck in the thread of a button on his shirt at his wrist. He glanced at her and chuckled, thinking how even the universe wanted their union but their destiny was fighting hard enough to not lose, but then was he someone who would accept defeat so easily? Nah. Even if they were not destined to be together, he was ready to trick destiny out and make it end in interlacing their paths, afterall he didn't have a business mind full of tactics and strategies for no reason. 

While he was trying to remove the tight hold of the bracelet from the thread, his eyes lifted to see her, he of course did not want her to wake up and feel even the slightest discomfort. While looking at her angelic face his mind travelled back to a long lost memory of the cocktail party when she had to marry Mayank. How, even being in an unconscious state, she did not fail to recognise him and his touch. As if his senses were teaming up with his brain and make him wander on the paths of nostalgia, he heard the same sentence she spoke back then and he felt as if his heart just skipped a beat. His eyes softened and his hands stopped doing the work they were indulged in. A lone tear slipped from his eyes on realising how the woman who would not stop talking when he would be with him had now turned into a  woman who would go all silent and cold if he came in her sight even for a fleeting moment.

The man that she called her sukoon once, was the same man who was pushed out of her life by her. Just how fast the night changes he thought and sighed.

As soon as her bracelet accepted its defeat and released the thread from itself, he without a halt moved outside. Sitting on a bench nearby he dug his head in his palms and let the stream of tears flow freely from his eyes. He cried, cried till his eyes ran out of tears. Life was being brutal to him, he thought. Yes, he was strong. Strong enough to give courage to his family when he was himself trapped in the web of fears and insecurities. Strong enough to not let his wife get a glance of him when every minute molecule of his body irked to meet her, hold her in his arms and never let her go. But was he strong enough to handle his emotions when his life was anything but peaceful? Was he strong enough to sleep even a night without waking up to those heart wrenching nightmares? Was he strong enough to not let his guilt break his practical mindset? Was he strong enough to spend even a day without thinking how beautiful their life would've been if he would have believed her that day, if he would have let her speak for herself that day? Was he strong enough to not think how they would have enjoyed the phase of their pregnancy and how they would have been probably playing with their baby at the moment only if he would have shown the slightest of belief over her and not let his anger overpower his sane self. The answer was horrifying yet clear. 

He tried, tried his best to be strong or atleast act to be one in front of his family but once they left, his loneliness reminded him of the haunting reality and that was the time when The Strong Ahaan Veer Malhotra would fall and the version of his which would rise would be more fatal, more vulnerable and be broken till an extent where even medicines would fail to cure. But then, that version was only reserved to him and after him, only to her, for she was the only one who taught him how to live not just for the sake of it but to enjoy and live it to the fullest. But now, she too was snatched from him just the same way as every other thing and person who used to make him happy, who would give his heart the assurance that everything would go well. Once snatched, he built himself and learned how to lead his life without them, but if she would be the one to leave, he probably won't be alive to even see the next moment after she leaves. He learnt how to live without people and things but he didn't want to learn how to live without her for he knew, even if he tried to do so, his heart would give up that very moment. 

Every time he would break down, he would realise how meaningless his life was without her. How, no matter even if millions of people he loved or adored would stand in front of him, his gaze would only urge to find her. He knew he could not live without her even for a second. He knew life would not be peaches and creams always and now when life threw thrones he knew he would have to deal with them for there was no option. The only thing which was keeping him going was the end, the end which was beautiful, the end that was meant to be their happily ever after and for them to attain this he was ready to face any thorn or bristle that would come his way for their love as he knew their love was beyond any obstacle and was greater than destiny's cruel games.

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-Nivz! <3