Do I Know You, Captain?

Fake

"I remember everything." Mark said, gripping his hair in both hands. The gamer sat in an office chair with a woman across from him. Her college degree hung above her head,"I'm not supposed to. When the game finishes, the engineer is none the wiser, but humans don't work that way, so I remember it all."

"And how does that make you feel?" She asked.

"Angry." He growled through his teeth,"I spent thousands of years cycling through the same events and it was all fake. I fell in love with someone and it was fake. I spent an eternity fixing the warp core and it was fake."

"Are you angry that the actions you took were fake and meant nothing or that the relationship you developed wasn't real?" She asked. He looked out the window and felt himself tearing up. His face became flushed and he tried not to moan in exasperation. 

"I'm angry that it was fake!" He shouted.

"Or are you upset that you wish it could be real? Do you feel guilty because you have Amy but you love the Captain?" She asked, crossing her legs.

"I didn't know it would be so real. " He whispered,  defeated. 

"Does the company know the emotional distress this is causing you?" She asked, the clock ticking loudly in the corner. Who had loud   Analog clocks anymore?

"Yes. Me and the person that played Captain. They are dating The Mayor, Damien Iplier. He has threatened so many lawsuits." Mark said with a dry laugh.

"What about Captain?" The doctor asked.

"What about them?" Mark asked, looking down at his hands as he wrung them.

"Are you angry at them?" She asked leaning a little closer to him when she emphasized 'at'..

"At them? No, why would I be?" He asked, grinning crookedly in confusion.

"Because, it was all fake." She whispered.

------

"Darling, you can't keep dwelling on this." Damien said, taking off his suit jacket,"Mayhaps the party will take your mind off of things."

Captain shook their head, looking down.

"It doesn't feel like it now, but once you're there you'll enjoy it!" Damien persisted.

Captain started to wring their hands. They hated parties, they were too loud and often times they would go mute in the middle of them, making it hard to enjoy the company. They couldn't hold conversation, nor hear conversation going on around them unless they were part of it. People always pointed out that Captain wasn't talking and that always made it worse.

Captain knew part of the campaign for Damien to become mayor was to show off his partner, but these parties were uncomfortable and played lousy music. Captain liked to dance but these parties weren't the kind you danced at.

"What has you fussing?" Damien asked, not oblivious to their distress.

They looked up into his dark eyes, not sure how to convey their discomfort, and feeling guilty about it anyway.

Damien stepped up to the vanity in the room they were sitting in, turning on a light and starting to take off his suit.

"Getting out will get your mind off of that game and back to reality. You'll be yourself again in no time."

But Captain doubted that. They didn't feel like Captain Nyx the gamer who got too involved in a game. They felt like The Captain of The invincible, due to colonize Vita Renascentia.

"Do you remember our first party?" Damien asked, now wiping the makeup off his face with a handkerchief, he wore it when he was going to be in front of cameras.

Captain had a pang of painful guilt hit them as they dropped their eyes. They wanted to say restaurant and a theater production but that didn't feel right. Was Damien part of the play that was actually being shown during a different date Captain had been on with someone else? Or were they playing cards with a bunch of his friends from childhood? Something horrible happened to one friend, but was that the first date they went on with Damien?

The Captain was jolted forward, looking around frantically. Everything was different. Instead of the warm grey the bedroom had been, they were now in a blue room with white lights. They were on the invincible.

Celci came into the room and gasped, dropping her clipboard.

"You're awake! Captain, you have been asleep so long we thought you were dying! We thought we would have to put you in cryo to keep you functioning!" Celci hugged them tightly, almost painfully.

Captain started to cry as she pulled back and held their face in her hands.

"Computer!" She called.

"Yes, Asshat?" It said. She growled in response.

"Call Head Engineer to the med bay!" She commanded. Captain could hear the announcement echoing in the hallways and other rooms of the ship.

"Head Engineer to Medical Bay."

"He is going to be so- your nose is bleeding!" She shrieked.

Captain put a hand to their nose feeling blood running down their arm.

"Pinch it, breath through your mouth, I'll get something for it!" She said hurrying away. The Captain felt dizzy and they started to get double vision. As Celci knelt before them, they could see, slightly offset to her, Damien. He was transparent but outlines enough that they could see him, but couldn't focus on him.

"What is happening?" The Captain cried out.