Only A Northern Song ~ Game of Thrones / Willas Tyrell ~

Chapter Fifty Six: Riverrun Reunion

"You're allowed to be angry, you know,"

Eddmina kept her gaze focused on the target in front of her, watching as the arrow she'd just shot found its home in the centre. She didn't need to look to see her Uncle Brynden, nor did she want to. He, just like everyone else in her family, had been treading around her carefully in the few days since her mother's arrival in Riverrun, and Eddmina didn't have the patience for it.

Eddmina felt like everyone had simply been glad to see her mother to the point that they forgot Willas was still missing, and that Renly's death meant they lost out on a crucial alliance. She felt like they had lost such an important opportunity, and without it, their war effort seemed a little more exhausting. Perhaps if they had heard from Theon about securing a naval fleet from his father then she might feel a little less stressed, but with hope of a Stormlands alliance lost and no word from Theon and the Greyjoys, Eddmina felt like her grasp on the war was starting to slip. When considering alliances, Eddmina found it easy to forget how they were yet to lose a battle, and how they had the Lannisters surrounded, but since her mother's arrival in Riverrun, unlike everyone else, she felt utterly hopeless and lost.

She kept that to herself though. The only person she allowed to see how depressed she had become since Willas failed to return with her mother was Garlan, and that was only because he felt the exact same way. She did not trust Robb or her mother with her emotions, not after they failed to understand her initial outburst and made her feel like a fool for being worried about her husband. She didn't talk to her uncles either, not knowing them well enough. Even Dacey Mormont, who she counted as a friend, did not get to see, because she was still one of the bannermen, and Eddmina dreaded any of them seeing anything but the cold, stoic persona she had perfected. No one needed to know that she felt as though her entire world was falling apart and her chest hurt every time she looked at her wedding ring. No one needed to know that her nightmares had gotten far worse than they ever had been to the point she'd had her handmaidens set up a nursery in the adjoining chamber so that she didn't wake Uther up or scare him if she started screaming in the night. No one needed to know that she had lost all motivation and even getting out of bed was a monumental effort. She let herself break in privacy, but when she was around everyone else she remained unflinching. She wondered if her family had really picked up on her slight change, the fact that she hardly spoke, hardly ate, and hardly slept, but if they had, none of them said anything or offered anything but sympathetic smiles, not even Robb.

For the first time, she thought of abandoning the cause. Without Willas it felt pointless. She had always felt as though she was fighting to protect her family, fighting to save their future, but without Willas her future felt wasted. She wanted to leave it all behind, take Uther and Honour and flee to the east, starting a new life where no one knew who she was and she didn't have to constantly think of others. It was selfish and cruel, but a life without Willas was even crueller, and she wanted to run as far as possible to hide from how empty her life felt without him.

As always though, her father came to mind when she thought of running away. Any time she thought of it for too long, the image of Lord Stark in the godswood came to her, teaching her about honour and duty, and Eddmina found herself riddled with guilt to the point that she knew leaving was impossible. The war had been started in her father's name, and she knew he would be ashamed of her if she fled.

"Your grace, would you put down the bow and talk to me?" Her uncle addressed her again, though Eddmina let another arrow loose at the target.

"I'm your niece, you can call me by my name," she muttered simply.

"Fine," he said, and for a moment he was quiet and she heard footsteps. She wondered if he'd given up so quickly, but then she heard an arrow thunk into the target next to hers and she saw her uncle stood at her side with his own bow. "Princess Eddmina, would you prefer to talk to me like this?"