His Siren, Her Doctor: Am I Still Yours?

42 Part One

Amanda could feel the tears swelling up in her eyes and it took a lot for her to push them down. "As 'Amanda', all I wanted was to know who I was. Hell, I became a singer just so that one day someone would look up and see a poster or a billboard with my face on it and recognize me. I wanted to use my voice to find out who I was, to find out my past but it was all hopeless. No one was going to recognize me, no one had ever seen this face before. Now I don't even know if I want to continue singing, I am so tempted to just end my career and just travel with the Doctor for as long as possible but..." Amanda trailed off, a burning feeling in her chest and her head. 

Martha nodded as she attempted to understand her friend and tried fingering out what to say to her before taking her hand. "It is a lot to deal with, but you have me and the Doctor right there by your side. No matter what you decide to do or who you decide to be, I am always going to be right here for you. You have brought so much to my excitement into my life, and you have made life so much more livable. I would be stressing over my family and my studies right now and now here I am in a spaceship, traveling around the universe with my best friend!" she said excitedly. "I am just glad that I can be by your side." And with that, Martha pulled Amanda into a tight hug.

Amanda smiled at her and placed a light kiss on her cheek, enjoying the smile that blossomed on her friend's face. Amanda was glad that she had Martha beside her, she didn't know what she would do without her best friend.

The Doctor and Amanda would often be in the lab when Martha decided to study or to sleep. The Doctor was very worried about Amanda and her body, making sure to keep his word to heal her feet and looking over her DNA; making sure everything was alright with her and her human body. He was very curious as to what happened to her bracelet and as to why she was fully human when they reconnected and after looking over her DNA with clear eyes, it seemed as though her Roiias DNA was pretty weak. 

Her human DNA was way stronger, yet her Roiias DNA was quickly multiplying, seemingly accelerating at a rapid speed. He believed that she would be back to normal in a couple of months though he would be making sure to keep an eye out for anything that could pose a threat to her and her health. Amanda would keep quiet as she watched him work, her eyes vacant as she walked through her memories; often leaving her in tears, which caused the Doctor to stop and to hold her in his arms, calming her just enough to stop her crying.

They had deep talks about their issues, and she had forgiven him for everything though she did have some reservations that she kept to herself. She tried to pretend everything was alright but now that she had regained her memories, she was often haunted by the fight that they had before she left. His words would cut deeper and deeper into her heart and she knew that even though he regretted saying those words to her, it didn't stop her brain from tormenting her. She would often share with him her fears and the possibilities that often plague her mind: what would have happened if they never came across each other, if she truly died on Fraitaro, if she had just stayed with him and Rose instead of going home. He would just listen and would wait for her to finish before telling her how he would have never stopped searching for her. That he would probably spend the rest of his days blindly searching for her till they found each other once again Even if it had turned out she had died, he would spend forever mourning her because that is how much he cared for her. Even though they couldn't change the past, he was just happy that she was here now with him and that he was never going to lose her ever again.

Amanda thought it was silly of him, that he would care that much for her, but his eyes showed how serious he was, which caused her to bubble with emotions that she shouldn't be feeling. She honestly wanted to ask what was wrong with him, she had no clue why he was so nice and understanding with her. What made her so different from Martha and Rose and all his other friends/companions, but it was all blank for her. She would toss and turn in bed just thinking about it, but she didn't want to admit to what it was- what they could be to each other. She would even have silent conversations with the Tardis in her room, who she felt often laughed at her for ignoring the obvious or for just being plain stupid. Maybe she was.