"𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞„

thirty two, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽

"Oh, Jane, I love you so much! I want to marry you! I could just kiss you forever!" Max said, mocking him intensely. Everyone just laughed, as he rolled his eyes playfully. Enid was almost in tears, holding her stomach as if she was about to die.

Once the laughing calmed down and the game started up again, more normal conversation ensued. Well, as normal as you can get.

"You say 'when you're older'. But Carl, aren't you like sixteen?" Ellie asked, scoffing.

"Yea....I mean, like....so-"

"You mean 'you'll understand when you're in love'." Max said, putting an emphasis on the word love. The others giggled, watching Carl's face churn in defeat.

"Something like that. I'm going to get dressed, see you losers later." He said, ruffling max's hair and making it all messy.

★

"Got everything?" She asked, as she swung the car door open with force.

"Yup. You sure you want to drive?" He said, smirking.

"Carl, I love you, but I could not be more sure. I'll never forget that time you crashed into a tree."

He scoffed, getting into the passengers seat with almost no protest. Jane brushed her hair back behind her ears, clicking and turning the keys in the ignition as the car sparked to life. She patted the wheel confidently, before closing the door shut behind her tightly. Her cowboy boot positioned itself on the accelerator, ready to go - as Carl scanned the CD's rammed in the side door.

"Taylor swift." He announced, sliding the disk in and pressing play. 'Picture to burn' blared over the radio speakers, almost deafening the two. Jane vouched to turn it down a little, and Carl obliged. He sang along, though he didn't really know the words - just the chorus.

She didn't really like it, but if Carl was happy, she was okay with listening and bobbing her head as he mumbled his way through the verses.

They made their way down the road, having left hilltop about an hour ago. The first two hours of the journey would be green lit and enclosed, as trees lined the roads as far as they could see. Once they were out into the blue, they knew they were only a half hour away from Alexandria.

"How's your hand?" Carl asked, as his eyes travelled over to examine it.
"Fine. It aches a little, but I'll be alright." She said, keeping it steady on the wheel.

He nodded, fixing his hat.
"I really liked staying at hilltop with you and them. It felt kinda normal." He added.

"Me too. They all really like you, you know."
Carl smiled at her statement, fiddling with his hands as she continued to look straight ahead.

He paused, wondering if he should say exactly what he wanted to. He watched her eyes dart down the road as her eyelashes flickered, and wondered if she wanted the same things as he did.

"Do you think that......once this fighting is all over we could..." he trailed off, not knowing how to put his emotion into the words.

"Could....what?" She asked, looking at him through the wing mirror. She noticed his eyebrows arch slightly as he tried to figure out what he was going to say, but all she could think was: god this boy is perfect.

"We could try and live a life like that? I never think about the future....well, because of how things are. But now that 'what could be' has been shoved in my face, I know that's what I want."

She sighed, trying to find a good way to say it.

"I want it too. So badly. But after this, it's not going to stop. There will be someone else that we have to take down, and when we do, another just comes right along. People will die, fight or no fight. I could die," she cleared her throat, "you could die."

"Maybe if I can get my dad to stop. To fight for peace. Maybe he'd listen." He said, looking directly into her eyes now. Yet, she just shook her head.

"It's not him. It's not anything we can control. It's just how the world is. And, what makes you think he'll listen to you?"

Carl looked taken aback by this comment, slouching down into his car seat and shifting his gaze over to the window immediately. Jane felt bad instantly, realising she'd never really made him mad before.

"Look, carl. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just.......I love you. And I don't want anything to happen to you because you were only seeing the good in people. Innocent people hardly exist these days."

"What about you? You're still kind, and good. You can't just assume everyone's bad." He countered, starting to get angry.

"Yeah, to you. I'm good to you."

He stopped, realising she was right.

Their whole visit to Oceanside was a perfect example of this. It had been such an uneasy step to take because, well, she had inconvenienced all those people. And, he had certainly killed a few in his day. They weren't good or bad - but neither option was valuable anymore. Goodness wasn't valued, or even helpful.

But what if that changed? What if everyone came together, in the end? Negan, his father, Michonne? Even Jane? Then, only then, could they have their perfect life.

The two of them stayed quiet the rest of the journey, knowing that if they said even one word, it would only add fuel to the fire. When they got home, Rick was ready with open arms. He hugged them both, before going off to bed himself, leaving the two of them in the living room alone.

Carl started to swivel round, getting ready to leave. He was stopped by Jane's voice, cutting the silence finally.

"Carl, I'm sorry. I know it's not easy, living in this mess. I hate it. But you make me not hate it, and I just don't know what I'd do if you were gone. I don't know what to do," she started to cry, for the first time in a few weeks. "I think about Glenn, and Abraham and what would've happened if it was you. Please don't let it be you," she finished, tears rolling down her cheeks. "It's not fair to do this to me! You know how everything works better than anyone else. We've lost so much, and I just can't afford to think like that anymore."

Carl turned to her then, his eye filled with regret. She'd had such a hard week, and he was putting this all on her? The words she had almost whispered to him ripped him in half, as he knew he couldn't promise his safety to her. Now, he was understanding exactly where she was coming from. This is how she must've felt earlier, completely helpless in his survival.

He practically sprinted over to her, wrapping his body around her own and engulfing her in him.
"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm staying right here, with you. I'm here."

"I'm sorry, I just, I....get so worked up about the people we've lost. I can't lose you....I can't-"

"Shhhhh," he hushed, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head as she cradled into him. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

At that moment in time, she realised she had just snapped. Finally, snapped. Everything had just built up to so much: the tallest tower, that had finally been knocked down. She felt as if flames erupted every time she spoke. Her words had too much power, and too much meaning. Every single sentence that she let go was always connected to the bigger picture, especially when she didn't know it.

"I want that with you, I want that future. But staying here, beside you for as long as I can, is just as good." He said, as he broke away to cup her cheeks. He leaned down to peck her on the lips, leaning deeper into the kiss than he intended.

She broke away, placing her forehead lightly on his as she looked into his crystallised eyes.
She cracked a smile, tucking his hair behind his ear haphazardly. "Don't you dare go anywhere." She demanded, still beaming.

★

HI GUYS <33!!!
This is suuuuuuper short but it's important. Next chapter is gonna be CRAZYYYYY
ALSO 5.5k reads?!?!? TYSM. 💞💞
cannot thank you guys enough for ready this silly little cowboy story.