Family

Joey

I try and pack my things as quickly as I can. I want to see my father. I feel desperate. I've always been someone who depends on the people I love. I thought I would be okay here, with the Sullys, because they love me. But now I feel as if I have been outcast. And I can't ask Neteyam to leave his family behind. So I'll go, see my father, and help with the war party there. I'm more useful there anyways. 

My heart hurts at the thought of leaving Neteyam. It physically hurts. But this is an act of desperation. I need to see my father. 

I have most of it packed when he walks in. "What are you doing?"

I glance at him, tears streaming down my cheeks, then continue. "I want to see my father." 

"You can't go. Please." He grabs my arm, and I know he can feel I am shaking. "Joey-"

"No!" I am sobbing. "Neteyam, you don't understand. You have your family here. I have you. And your first priority is them. It has to be. They are your real family." I sit on the ground, too upset to continue. "I feel so alone here."

Neteyam sits down next to me as I shudder with uncontrollable sobs. Neytiri's words had confirmed my deepest darkest fears. That I am only family because I have to be. That II am nothing more than their son's mate. They don't love me, but they love him, so they put up with me. And the only two people on the planet who care about me are Neteyam and my father. 

"You are not alone. You always have me." He wraps his arms around me the best he can. "If you are going, then I am going too." 

"Neither of you are going." Neytiri and Jake are in the doorway of our tent. I feel so embarrassed. I wipe my tears and stand, grabbing my bag. I stare at the floor because I can't look them in the eye. 

"Joey, you are family." Jake insists. "You're like one of our own."

I scoff, gripping the strap to my bag nervously. 

"Joey." Neytiri speaks this time. I feel anxious around her now. I had thought that she and II had our issues but that we had our own special bond. She taught me how to hunt and how to fight. And we sharer a deep caring for her son. But now, I don't feel so sure. She walks over, and I force myself to meet her eye. "I apologize for what I said." 

I know that's hard for her. 

"Jake and I agree that you are right. You can't watch Lo'ak all the time. I spoke when I was afraid for my son, and angry for the decisions of my children. I do not wish to see you leave. You are like my daughter." She's quiet, but her words don't make me feel much better. I avoid her gaze. "I know we have our disagreements, but I know that you and I both have the same mind." She forces me to look her in the eye. "I see you, Joey. And I see that you try to protect this family like you would you own. And that makes you our family. Okay?"

I feel my eyes welling up again, and she pulls me in for an embrace. "I understand if you want to go see your father. But please, do not leave because you think you are not loved here."

I sniff and wipe my eyes again. I'm super embarrassed now. Jake comes over and hugs me too. "You can't go Jo. Who's gonna make battle plans with me if you do?"

I laugh a little at his words. I know he's just trying to make me feel better, but it kind of works. 

"Alright." I'm quiet. "Alright." 

Neteyam sighs in relief next to me. "Thank you, mother." 

There's some tension between the both of them, I think. I wonder what happened after I left.