This is Fire

A VISIT REVEALS MEMORIES (6)

MASON POV

Maya's friend Jack has just arrived. Although I've known for the last two weeks that I will be meeting him, I've been overwhelmed with the idea especially right now. It's five minutes until the visitation hours are opening and I'm so nervous. I think I'm nervous because I will be able to talk more freely about stuff. I just hope that whatever I say to him, won't get back to Maya. I'm shaken out of my thoughts when I realise that he was standing in front of me, I guess I was thinking for so long that I didn't realise visitation was open.

"Hey man, how are you?" Jack says while smiling.

"Yeah I'm good, how's you?" this feels awkward.

"Yeah I'm good" he replies... right so unless we start talking about the weather, it's about to get really awkward here.

"Look, I just want to make it clear that whatever we talk about, I won't tell Maya unless you want me to. Sounds good?" He asks, I smile at the statement.

"Yeah that's good with me. You're literally the first person I've met who's gotten out of homelessness." I say back.

"Yeah it was hard work getting a job and building my life after growing accustomed to the streets. But life is so much more comfortable now that I can look after myself properly" Jack replies back with a smile on his face.

"I want to get out of homelessness but it's my home. It makes no sense, but that was normal to me. I've been homeless for 6 years and it was only until a few weeks ago that I had a meal that wasn't out of a can or tin and was actually pretty warm. This is just so overwhelming" I want to open up to him.

"I get that man, it's hard coming to terms with a new normal. I found it super hard, I went straight into firefighting because of the pay and honestly it was a job where I could do something good and still check on my old friends. If I can help you, I will try" He says.

"Where abouts did you used to live before you got out? Maya found me close to the Fremont troll" as I announce my past home, I see a massive grin spread across Jack's face.

"No way, that's where I lived. I left about three years ago. Were you there? I haven't been there in about a year" Jack says still smiling.

"What are the chances. I wasn't there, I was pretty lucky that I got to live in homeless centers for a while since I was underage. When you left, it was my first year ever being properly homeless and not in centers." I'm really starting to like this guy.

"Look man, I'm here if you need me. Anything specific you want to talk about?" He says as he plays with the lid of his coffee cup.

"I think it would be good to air some stuff out. I can't do that with Maya" I say and he nods slowly, probably agreeing that Maya wouldn't be the best person for this conversation.

"Go ahead" is all he said to me.

"I don't know why I'm giving Maya a chance to know me. When I first ran away, I would hide outside the house and see her with our dad. She'd never look happy but she stayed. It angered me that she can't see what games he plays. After a while I guess I got too angry and I left. I haven't been anywhere near that house since. You know, when there was a snowstorm about a year ago, I walked past some cafés and Maya was sitting there with a guy. She looked happy and free until I saw that she wasn't touching her food, all because of how dad was to her.

Being homeless on the streets is hard. I'm used to it, the constant moving whenever uniforms come and find us. Fremont has over the last few years become a home; sure, we sometimes have to leave but we all come back. They became a family; I don't know if I want to give that up for Maya. I just remember the first night in that location, I was terrified that I wouldn't be accepted by such a large community. I was 19 and alone, I shouldn't have had to deal with this at such a young age. The thing I hated about being homeless is wanting to go back to my parents' house, I wanted to be warm but I knew that that warmth didn't come with the love I wanted, I still want now.

I can see Maya wanting to help me out, I mean as kids we loved each other. I remember when I would paint her a picture at like 4-years-old and she would ask to hang it in her room like it was some sorta prized possession. We'd play together, she'd play with dolls and I'd play with heroes. One time, we went on vacation to Montana, ended up going on some type of nature walk when I was about 6. I started getting really tired and Maya just lifted me on her back like it was nothing. Before running, she cared, she was the perfect sister.

But now I don't know what her motive is. She takes up after our dad, I don't know how much of what she's saying and doing is because she actually wants to or because she feels sorry for me. I want her to want to help me and be supportive. I hate that I want to get to know her again and be her brother. I hate it" I say getting more and more frustrated about my relationship with my sister.

"You know, she hasn't told anyone about what's been going one except me. Whenever she can have some private time with me, it's always about you. About you and your art, I mean for the last two weeks she's been talking about some portraits you painted. She does love you Mason; I can promise you that. I'm sure she's trying to help you out of love and I don't think there is another motivation behind it. You're right, she doesn't recognise what your dad does, I've only met him once and we all knew what he was doing.

I think you should give her a chance to be something in your life. Take away the sister title if that helps you but let her in. I think letting her understand your experiences will save whatever relationship you can possibly have. I can't imagine seeing Maya play with dolls though, that doesn't sound like her at all.

Trust me I know about snowstorms and being homeless. I just remember about 20 of us huddled around a fire someone made, I've never been so cold before. I think homelessness is such a big issue and it's always ignored. I'm glad you were accepted by that group. How about, you work on getting sober and we can talk just the two of us about what you want to happen after. You have another two months to think about what you want with Maya and if in the end you don't want to stay with her, I have a spare room that I can rent out to you. Does that sound good?" Jack asks me.

"You know what, I think that would be awesome. Thank you, Jack" I reply, he stands ready to leave.

"See you man, I hope we can see each other again soon. If you can call people here, here's my number. I work the same shifts as Maya, so other than that I should be free" He says as we shake hands. This meeting went better than I thought.

-

MAYA POV

It's been really weird knowing where my brother is. Sure, I should have found him earlier and it shouldn't be weird that I know where he is, but don't forget I've missed out on 6 years of time. I'm proud of him for going to rehab, I hope he can stay sober even if he isn't in my life afterwards. Jack went to see him earlier and I really hope it went well.

It's currently about 5pm, so 4 hours after Jack went to see him. I wanted to see Jack but after thinking about it, he probably wouldn't tell me anything and well... Jack has Andy to entertain anyway. So, like any self-respecting woman on a Wednesday, it's self-care Wednesday. Which means it's time to find my next conquest, sometimes I feel like I have a brain of a man when I see women on these nights. I wish I could do all that romantic stuff and do a relationship but I'm not made for them. After so many years of not having friends, it's really weird putting effort in to getting to know my team at the station. Friendship is such a weird thing to me; I've never had it and I feel like it's something I've actually been craving subconsciously for a long time. It's almost as if being at the station is opening my up to being a human being that purposefully interacts with people, how fucking weird is that!