Lustful ; Draco Malfoy

chapter twenty-seven ; deepest fears.

I stared at the door that Draco had just slammed shut and I felt like crying. But I needed to stop crying over every little minor inconvenience that happens to me. It was time to grow up.

I ran to my door and held the door handle about to open it, but I stopped. What would it look like if I just ran after him after kicking him out of my room. Out of my life.

I couldn't do it anymore. It was time to truly let Draco behind. What we had wasn't healthy. It was toxic. It made me feel like shit.

It was time to move on with my life and focus on my friends. The only issue was that my friends are still friends with Draco. And I couldn't ask them to stop being friends with him for my sake. That would be selfish.

I decided to write in my journal since I hadn't done this in a while. I was to ashamed and embarrassed to walk back into the common room.

Dear diary,

It's been a while. It's been a few months.

I found my mum the other day. She was at Dracos house. The Malfoy manor. I cried, she cried. We hugged. And then she told me to leave because it wasn't safe for me there.

Merlin knows what she meant by that but I could only think she was talking about Voldemort. He is dangerous.

He told all the death eaters about his plans with Harry Potter.

He said he was planning to have someone take over the school. My home. And he wanted to kill Harry Potter.

Something to do with Horcruxes? I think that was the word.

But the few days I spent at the Malfoy manor was cold and dark. But for some really odd reason, Draco made the place seem a little more bright. It was warmer when I was with him in that house.

And I never thought I'd say that but it was. Unfortunately he had to ruin it by lying to me. He knew where my mother was all along. In his fucking house?!

Unbelievable.

I also spoke with Astoria earlier. She seemed really nice. Me and her never really spoke before. We've always been in the same house, and we've smiled at each other a few times over the years when she was dating Draco.

But a few months ago I thought she didn't like me because word got out that me and Draco were sleeping with each other.

Turns out she was never upset with me, but she was upset with Draco. I couldn't blame her. Who could blame her?

Draco touches anything that breathes.

I slammed my diary shut when I heard the door open, but it was only Marion.

"Shit sorry. I thought you were someone else." I apologised.

"Don't worry." She laughed a little.

Marion walked over to her dresser and pulled out some pyjamas for her to wear to bed.

"How did the rest of the party go?" I asked her, as I went to get dressed myself.

"It was fine I guess. I must say though, it was rather bold for Draco to punch someone like infront of everyone."

"Tell me about it. You know, I was fine dealing with that boy myself." I spoke up, my voice raising a little bit.

"Who even was that talking to you?"

"I don't know, someone called George. A Hufflepuff." I explained, putting my hair in a low messy bun to get my curly hair out of the way. It usually gets tangled in the night if I don't do this.