Darker Than Darkness

04: Darker Than Darkness

I ran up to the front desk of the hospital. The air smelled of that weird hospital smell, like some chemical and sickness. A smell that made my stomach flip and my nose to wrinkle in disgust. The white shiny floors echoed my footsteps in the quiet room.

The lady glanced up at me from the computer. 'How may I help you?'

I sucked in a deep breath and said, 'My father was in an accident, I'll like to know the room he is currently in.'

I found myself drumming against the top of the desk with impatience. My heart felt like it wanted to jump out my chest, racing fast and thumping hard. So much, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. The lady looked back up at me and replied, 'What's his name?'

I bit the inside of my jaw and hurriedly said, 'Robert Stone.'

The lady turned back to the computer and tapped away in the keyboard, glancing a few times at me. 'Room 305.'

I gave her a quick 'Thank you' before I speed walked towards the stairs. Unfortunately the elevator was out of order, something my mother had complained about at last night's dinner. I climbed the stairs slowly. What if he was dead? What if he wasn't alive anymore? How would my mother react? How would I react?

The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to see the results. I was scared of what I might find out. Soon though, I made it up to the third floor. There, I opened the grey door leading to it and walked into the small hallway. The smallness of it made me feel trapped and the sometimes flicking light and quietness made me feel like I was in a scary movie.

I stood in front of door 305, my heart pouring hard. I was just about to open the door when my eyes spotted a slip of white paper. It hung right next to the door, sitting on a window like still. I sliced over and read the words:

'This room is open'

Four words. Only one meaning came to mind. He was dead. I began to panic, pacing around in the front of the door. My hands were trembling so hard that even when I balled them into a fist they still trembled. My heart seemed to go a mile a second, my brow breaking out into a nervous sweat. What was I going to do?

My throat seemed to have closed up and my lungs felt like they were in a bear hug. I took a deep breath that was staggered and turned into rough coughing.

Maybe the lady had gotten the room number wrong. Maybe if I went back down and ask again she'll say something like, 'I'm so sorry. I mistaken the name you gave me as another. Your father is actually in room number and it doing just fine.'. Maybe it was just an honest mistake? But what if it wasn't? What if it was the same result, nothing I could do about it? I checked the room number again but it clearly said 305.

Maybe there are two doors with the same number and I came to the wrong one? Maybe that's it.

Maybe, maybe, maybe, and some more maybes. It was all I could think of. I had to find my mother, she could solve all this. With a smile she'll reassure me that he survived and would be back home soon.

I ran over to the door that went to the stairs and yanked it open. I slid down on the railings, my hair yanking back from my sweaty face. I ran down the short hall and past the lady at the desk who didn't even look up from her computer. I was tempted to ask her the same questions that had come to mind earlier but I decided against it.

I continued to the left where double doors were. The sign above them said 'Waiting Room'. Maybe she was in there. I slammed against the door, my shoulder complaining loudly at the recklessness of it, but I completely ignored it.

I skidded into a stop and almost tipped over at the sight. She was in here, complete in her nurse scrubs and everything. But something was different. She wasn't crying, which I hoped meant something good. But she didn't look happy either. Instead she looked like, stone, nothingness.

Her ponytail, neat and smooth, of this morning was completely gone. Her hair was down and wild. Her careful makeup was smeared and her eyes red and puffy, like she had been crying greatly. I was surprised, I had never seen my mother in such a condition, ever. I mean, she was always clean, neat, and professional, something I believed would never change.

Now, as I looked at who I thought was my mother, it was like she was a whole different person now. Her atmosphere wasn't the same anymore. Instead of the opening and comfortable one I knew, it was like she had a mean-spirited and dark one as a replacement.

She stared blankly off into space, not even noticing me as I walked up to her. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and asked, 'Is he alive?'

At first it was like she didn't even hear me. She didn't make any type of respond until minutes had passed. One word formed out of her mouth, 'No'.

I asked another question, 'Did you call David?'

I got no respond at all, not even a blink. I stayed with her but it was like I didn't exist to her. My heart ached to do something, to make her feel better. But I couldn't think of nothing. The way she was acting was abnormal to me, I had never experienced this side of her. I never wished to experience this. I was afraid. What if she never recovered? I couldn't possibly handle losing both of my parents.

I felt the pain of losing him. It was there. There was a time when I would picture this happening and trying to see how would I handle myself in this situation. Now as I stood here, I didn't know what to do. I felt all out lose without any direction or help. It was like I was alone in darkness, trapped and helpless, slowly dying on the inside. There was nothing I could do.

With this realization in my head, I stood and quietly walked out the door. I grabbed my skateboard and began a long walk home. I don't know how long I was in that hospital but it had to be a very long time. The sun was setting in a far away distance, taking light away from me, only leaving me with darkness. I continued in the direction of the house, not trying to think about anything. I concentrated on walking one foot at a time towards my house.

I was passing by the stores of the town as I had to pass because the hospital was where they was. I always wondered about that. Why did they chose to put the hospital near the stores and mall. They say more accidents occur there because of the heavy traffic. I suppose they were right.

I glanced inside the bookstore and short black hair on someone's head caught my attention quickly. I turned on my shoe heel and walked inside, the bell ringing as the door opened.

There was no turning back now.