Stuck On Me- (loreen)

To Leave You A Beautiful Scar

May 17, UK
It took me a while to process what was going to happen, it would be the last day for us.
I looked outside the window of my hotel, enjoying the beautiful view, the blue skies and the shining water of the marines in front of me.
I knew that everything and every single small moment from the following weeks would bring me back here. I couldn't believe it was over.

I got ready to visit Loreen at the airport since her flight was a couple of hours earlier than mine.
I decided to put on some comfortable tracksuit pants and a hoodie and left with my team.

As we arrived the terminal, I looked around, starting to remember my arrival. It was so sad to come back days after, but that time for a goodbye.
All my team stayed in the car as I ran to the gate where Loreen should be. She was there walking around while waiting for the flight.
I wanted to surprise her but she caught me before I was able to.

"Sweetheart."- she pulled me closer, hugging me tightly.- "I'm glad you came."

"Of course I would, I'd never let you go without saying goodbye."- I looked up at her but her sunglasses impeded me to look into the eyes I loved the most, so I gently grabbed and removed them off her face.

"What was that for?"- she didn't quite understand my move.

"I just wanted to look into your eyes one last time."- I couldn't stop a tear to form in my eye.
She didn't say anything back, just proceeded to grab my hand and smile softly.

"I'm gonna miss you, Loreen."- I hugged her once again.- "Please, never forget me."- I was starting to sound desperate, everything was coming back to me in that moment.

"Darling, of course I won't forget you!"- she frowned and put me closer. Her hand went up, grabbing my cheek and leading me to kiss her.
It was a quick one since we didn't want anyone to see it, no one knew about us and probably never would.

In despite of all the comments in the posts where we were together, making up assumptions about our relationship, they didn't know anything in reality. They couldn't even imagine.
If they knew how bad I'd miss her, the nights I'd stay thinking about her and the days I'd be looking for any remaining memory of us...
They knew nothing.

"It's the last call, Ava. I gotta go now."- she looked at me once again, sadness was shining in her eyes.
But it was time, I had to let go.

I watched her slowly walk away.
Every step she took tightened my heart a little more.
I would miss her grip, her lovely kisses, her warm hugs, everything we shared together.

Where was the person in me that one day said she didn't want to make friends there?
Somehow, I wanted that part of me back, otherwise it wouldn't hurt so bad as it did.

Loreen looked back once again, saying goodbye before disappearing.
Her team also waved at me, I think they also knew about everything.

I walked back through the corridors of the airport, down the stairs and finally the door.
I just stood in front of the car where my team was, still no tear left my eye.
Julia, my makeup artist, got out and ran to hug me.

"You really fell, didn't you?"- she whispered in my ear.

"Guess I did."- that's when I broke down and started crying.- "Will I ever be able to see her again?"

"I don't know, Ava. Just time knows."

We stayed a few more hours in the city and I took that time to say goodbye to Alessandra, Käärijä and the boys.
They really made this journey a lot more enjoyable, meeting people like them along the way was really a blessing and a pleasure to me.
After it all, going to the hotel to pick up our things was the last thing we did before leaving to the airport once again.

We finally stepped inside the plane back to our country. This city really was the beginning of a lot, including the new me.
It was so nice to leave and not regret a single thing that happened there.
I brought respect, love, experience and knowledge with me and all the selfishness and fears were left behind.

I sighed and sat down, closing the window so I could calm down a little bit.
The sky was still blue but soon it would turn dark.
The stars from that city would never be the same, some would stay alone and lonely in Amsterdam while the others would travel to Stockholm along with her.
The sky would stay empty here.

"Ma'am, you need to keep the window open for now. You'll be able to close it once we're in the air."- A flight attendant warned me.

Of course I knew that already, I just wanted to avoid looking outside before leaving.
I opened it and adjusted myself on my seat.
Goodbye, Liverpool.