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a/n This is not yet proofed read so there will be mistakes.
Beeeeep Beeeepppp! I jumped up from my sleep and kiss mi teeth. "Chro Bloodclaat!"
My alarm went off and I am pissed as hell. I lay there for 5 whole minutes before I looked at my phone. 6:05 am. I have a job interview today and even though I am grateful mi caw badda.
I untangled myself from the sheets hesitantly and lazily flung my feet from the bed. My legs dragging my body to the bathroom. I pulled my clothes down and sat on the toilet to pee with my chin now rest in my palm. Lazy like wa. God know if mi never bruck and a dead fi hungry mi nuh go nuh weh.
I sat there thinking about my life. I came to Kingston to live just one month ago from St. Thomas searching for greener pastures. All now mi caw find it but still trying. My grandmother and legal guardian just died. My mother died in a car accident when I was 6, I don't remember much about her, but Mamma and other people in the community would tell me stories about her. Sometimes I would do simple things and Mamma would say, "Pickney gyal, yuh coming just like yuh ma."
I never met my father. From what I heard, he got my mother pregnant at 16 and took off. Mamma had said that the last she heard, he was in Canada. Nobody knows for certain. It was very hard when my grandmother died. I felt so alone and without purpose she was all I know for so long. She worked hard sending me to school and I made sure I didn't disappoint her. I feel bad that she would never get to see me at my fullest, she would never see me married and with children. I sighed at that thought. At least I know that she was proud of me. The day I came home with my CXC results, she danced and gwaan wid herself. Back then, I could see that she was sick, but she would hide it and still push out.
When she finally couldn't fight it anymore, she became shut in. I would go to school and come home straight after to look after her. Doing CAPE was hard, but she would encourage me to do my best, and here I am today.
I remember the day she died. It feels like yesterday... they had to peal me from her . Just seeing her body frail and lifeless, broke my heart.
My uncle, her eldest, and last remaining child had come down from Portland to arrange the setup and funeral. It is amazing how when someone dies, everyone suddenly has the time. All these years Mamma was sick, nobody saw him. He was always busy living large. He was a counsellor for the JLP, so he claimed he's busy. The next day, he left saying he had pressing issues to take care of, and I haven't heard from him since then.
The first few days after Mamma died were rough by myself financially and emotionally. One day, I was on the phone with my best friend Yanique when she suggested I stay with her in Kingston. She had a two bedroom apartment and she would welcome the company. At first, I was hesitant, but it made sense. I have nothing holding me back here. One day, I just packed a suitcase and said, "Kingston, here I come." Literally
