3 June, 2023
~~~~~~~~~
I'm still learning how to not love you
Slowly, one step at a time
And it aches a lot like grieving
Tastes a lot like the ice cream I bought with you several years ago at a random CCD
You won't remember it
It tasted like frozen water and poor decisions.
Learning to not love you is a lot like untangling a ball of woolen yarn my mother had warned me not to play with
But I did anyway and now I'm
Untangling it one excruciating knot at a time.
It's a lot like squeezing and wringing out our memories
Over and over and over again
Waiting and hoping (and fearing) that all its colours will run dry.
Sooner or later, you replay a memory enough times and all its colours will run dry.
Right?
Learning to not love you is a lot like this.
Like trying to lose a habit
It's muscle memory, this wanting you,
Like reaching for a thing even though it's not there
Even though it was never there.
I'm still learning how to let go of you
Slowly, one step at a time
And though it aches
And writhes and pulsates like an open would
It feels a lot like healing
Throbs a lot like growing pains do.
YOU ARE READING
Paradise, Fool || Poetry
Poetrysuspended in this limbo i wonder and i wonder and i wonder am i even alive anymore? ~ a collection of poetry
