(After 4 years)
When Xiao Zhan came home with a fever and unable to string two words together, Xiao Lu wasn't even surprised. She had realized long ago that there would come a day when her body would give weakness and no matter how much she told him every time to stop torturing herself like this, she wasn't listened to. So every day after work, she tried to go home and not stay at Bai Lu's like before... because she understood that now they were alone and needed care like no one else.
It had been four years since Yibo had left. During that time, she had really thought a lot about what he had done and once even had a conversation with Xiao Zhan about it. Then he replied that he didn't blame him for anything and had no right, because he should respect his choice. But they were both convinced that he hadn't left of his own free will. Perhaps at first they were angry with him, but then, after digesting the whole situation, they realized that it wasn't that simple. Yibo the person they knew would never leave them of his own free will. But being unknowing of anything was most frightening, and as pathetic as it sounded, there was only hope that he was okay. At least there were calls from his "mother" who at least occasionally shared with them about Yibo's condition. But here's the trouble... they didn't hear anything good. Only that his injury was untreatable... maybe now he had even forgotten them. But Yibo said to wait, so he and Xiao Zhan just waited... even if it seemed that patience would break at one moment and they would both pack their bags and fly to another country for him, they waited as they were asked...
After putting her brother to bed, only Xiao Lu tries to leave the room as her gaze clings to the notebook that stood on the chair next to the bed. No, she's not the kind of person who would violate someone else's personal space, but seeing a familiar notebook...to be exact the one that belonged to Yibo, she couldn't just walk past it. Stepping closer and taking it in her hands, she opened it and the first lines belonged to him...
"I love him. I love him madly. But alas, not as a brother..."
And then another inscription at the bottom, but in a different handwriting.
"It's mutual... but you've probably forgotten me by now."
That was the answer. An answer that was written in little dashes, as if they were trying to hide their feelings deep down inside so no one would know about them. It made her heart shatter, and the only thing that got to her was that she knew who the handwriting belonged to.
God, why is all this happening to them? No, no, no. She didn't mind, and she wouldn't even dare. But it hurt that two people who loved each other had to endure so much away from each other.
In principle, she guessed. Seeing how badly Xiao Zhan was feeling, she knew it wasn't just brotherly affection, but after reading these lines...
She didn't know what to do now. How should they be? How much longer would Yibo have to wait? How much longer would they all have to suffer?
***
- You love him, too, don't you? Why didn't you say anything all this time? Why do you leave everything the way it is? Why don't you ask your mother for her address? Why didn't you?
Was he surprised that Xiao Lu found out about everything? Not at all. Rather, he didn't even think she would take it so calmly. Not to scold, not to yell, not to say that it was wrong, but rather to be supportive. But what was the point of what she was saying? It's been four years.
- Yibo has long forgotten about me. Enough is enough. You think I haven't tried to find out where he is? You haven't? He doesn't want to be looked for, otherwise he would have contacted us. No, it's more like he's really forgotten. But...I want to believe he'll come back, like he said he would. I don't know what to do, let's just close the subject.
He really couldn't...couldn't take the whole situation calmly.
"I'm not afraid that I'll forget you. I'm afraid that you will..."
"Yibo, I don't want to be forgotten by you..."
***
After yesterday's conversation, he and Xiao Lu decided not to broach the subject again, which was rubbing an unstitched wound. They just needed time... to get used to Yibo's absence guess. Especially him. But so many years had passed and it seemed impossible. Forgetting Yibo was impossible. To be honest, he didn't even know himself when he started to have different feelings for his didi. But at first it really started to scare him and he tried to distance himself from him then. This was just when Yibo was still on the mend and the psychologist he visited was sharing the good news. But then suddenly Yibo refused to have a session with him and just shut himself in all over again, after which Xiao Zhan couldn't afford to avoid him. He knew he had to spend more time with him, for his own sake.
(P.s: remember how Yibo refused treatment? He saw how Xiao Zhan forgot about him when he got better and thus decided he didn't want to allow that to happen. And he would rather forget him than he would forget him... And in fact, Xiao Zhan didn't forget, it was just the time when he was aware of his feelings and he avoided Yibo, afraid of them, because firstly, Yibo was a minor, secondly, they were brothers. At least he thought so...)
A sudden ringing call distracts him from his thoughts that have taken him to the distant past, and seeing the familiar caller, he immediately answers.
- Yes, Lu, what is it?
- Xiao Zhan, I need your help. Can you please pick up Xiao Lu's birthday present? I don't have time, - she really seemed to be in a hurry. On the other side of the connection, Bai Lu's voice sounded out of breath.
- Okay, text me the address, - he answers her. He had to go home now anyway, where he would fall prey to his thoughts again. It's better to get away for a while...
"You need to go to the airport. There will be a girl named Xinhua. I just ordered from Korea and she had to bring from there, otherwise the delivery would have taken a very long time," comes the message after he hangs up the phone and he immediately goes to the specified address. Luckily he gets there without any traffic and approaches the front desk where he is supposed to pick up a package from... can't remember the name anymore... a girl.
- Zhang-ge! - Suddenly a voice comes from behind... familiar? And his heart skips a beat at that moment. For a moment he starts to think he heard it, but something in his soul tells him it's not. He turns around and sees... him...
Apparently this is a dream... A dream he's had a thousand times before, where he meets Wang Yibo and then he just evaporates into thin air. Again it is an illusion. Was he losing his mind?
He seemed to be. Exactly. All he has to do is get some fresh air and he'll be fine.
He needs to get out. He's turning back to get out of this place. At least leave it for a while. Get that shiver off his body and just calm down.
But... he sees Yibo running toward him. Comes running and hugs him. Finds herself in his arms. And Xiao Zhan realizes... this is not a dream. Yibo is here. He is here. He is back. He... remembers him...
Yibo remembers him...
