The Soldier and The Spy: Tess Danvers- Episode 7

Bonus Scene

Present Day

She glanced at the time on her computer, doing some quick math before scowling. Seven thirty in Chicago was only six thirty in Cuba but it was still a six-and-a-half-hour flight between them and while Jay had let Hank know the threat had been handled, and while she knew he'd never actually been in harm's way Trudy didn't like not knowing when he was coming back. She might not be able to protect her officers when they were out on the streets but at least if they were in her city she had a better chance of keeping them safe. Having one of them out of the country was a level of anxiety she hadn't been since Mouse had gone back in the Rangers and deployed back to Afghanistan. And she had the feeling this was just the first time Chuckles took a work trip.

Detective Chuckles and Sergeant Sunshine.

Now Trudy scoffed, but though she'd deny it if anyone asked she knew she was smiling too; apparently that was Danvers nickname for her. Atwater sure hadn't held back his grin when he'd passed that tidbit along but after a look had sent him scurrying off she'd found herself enjoying it. The girl had snark, and sass, two qualities she admired. She had a lot of qualities she admired, intelligence, kindness, integrity, and yet she still felt like she didn't have a full read on her. Not surprising given her line of work but Trudy still didn't like it. She also didn't like how worried she was about her but those fears alleviated the second she saw the couple walking into the twenty-first.

"Well that's got to be a record." She said dryly as they made their way to her desk, Jay grinning before he gave her a soft nod.

"I would've stayed longer." He said with a wink to his girlfriend as he started heading for the staircase, what looked like a bottle of rum in one hand. "Be back in a couple minutes."

"Take your time." Tess called after him, ignoring his eye roll to fish something out of her pocket that she then passed over.

A fridge magnet.

A little wooden carving of Cuba, all the landmarks beautifully painted in vibrant colors.

"You were the hardest to choose for, but I like it." She said with a warm smile, making Trudy feel bad for some of her earlier thoughts.

"What'd the others get?"

"Voight gets rum, Kevin a CD, Kim a bracelet, Vanessa a small painting, Hailey perfume and Adam a little coconut man."

She raised a brow at Tess's grin, and at how accurate her souvenir choices were, especially her own. It might seem small compared to the others but that was why she liked it- understated but personal, exactly her style.

She hadn't realized how much she'd appreciate being thought of but she did.

And she wanted to return the favour.

"Thank you." Tess just nodded, clearly more concerned with whatever was going on upstairs but her attention quickly came back. "So. Fourteen years. You get what you wanted?"

I want to know that what I did meant something.

She paused, looking her over softly but critically before she shifted to face her more fully, her arms coming up to rest on the desk.

"I would say I've lost count of how many times I've been tortured but that's not true. It's not something you forget. But Selim... Halef..." Trudy didn't comment on the name change but she noted it, which she had the feeling the other woman noted despite appearing lost in her thoughts. "I've never broken but I did beg. Every day for nine days I begged for my life, for him to see me as a person, as a human. But he never did. Until yesterday."

Her eyes lifted slowly, that blue deep and piercing and that forgiving yet grave look growing, what she swore was a hint of insecurity or maybe even fear creeping in until she pulled something out of her pocket, fingering it before she carefully laid the item between them.

"What's that?"

"All that's left of the prayer rug I had given him."

Her gaze stayed on that very tiny, very dirty scrap of fabric and though her face stayed soft Tess was unreadable now. And how quickly she could do that worried Trudy. But what she'd done... That amazed her.

And it scared her a little too.

"I showed mercy to the man who broke me because it was what I needed to put myself back together. And somehow it did the same for him. And I..." She took a slow breath and swallowed, her head tilting first to the right and then to the left as she looked the fabric over and though nothing else about her changed the atmosphere shifted with the swell of her pain. "I have not always been that person. But that's okay because... there is good in the world. It's hard to see sometimes but it's there. It moves between us. And I think that's really cool."

When Tess looked back and smiled the determination in her eyes tugged at her but it also made her realize that everything she'd seen in the younger woman was because she was letting her; she was allowing herself to be vulnerable because she wanted Trudy to see her. And when her smile grew crooked Trudy knew that even though she didn't fully understand how she felt about what the other woman had said she could see it.

She could see her.

"What's that for?" She asked a touch gruffly, not quite feeling judged but still not liking the open look on her face.

Not liking how sad it felt.

"I know that look."

"What look?"

"That look. I'm very familiar with it." Tess said wryly as she shrugged, for the first time holding her stare, even as she nodded up to the bullpen. "Whenever you look at me you see someone like them- someone young, someone who needs to be guided. Protected. And then you look closer and you realize I'm not young at all. And I'm more like Voight than I am any of the others."

She had noted the similarities.

And was both appreciative and concerned by them.

"Everybody needs guidance sometimes." She said quietly after a moment, trying to give her answer some thought without giving her time to doubt herself, something she got the sense she did often. "And protection. If you can give it you can take it."

Tess nodded slowly but that sadness grew. "Being able to doesn't mean you want to."

"Well tough shit."

That got her attention and for the first time the maternal instincts she told everyone she didn't have surged up; she'd never wanted kids, they were messy and smelly and more than she cared to handle but she sure did love the six she'd adopted.

Seven now.

"You can do whatever you want to do but you don't got the right to stop the rest of us from doing what we want to. And if we want to give you the same help you've given us, well it'd be pretty hypocritical of you not to take it and you don't strike me as the type."

She didn't have time to answer before Jay was coming back down but by her deep nod Trudy knew she'd taken her words to heart, the soft nod Jay shot her over her shoulder solidifying her feelings.

Tess was one of them now, whether she liked it or not.