The Soldier and The Spy: Tess Danvers- Episode 7

Chapter 5

She was warm.

She was very warm and she was mostly comfortable. And she was very safe. When a loud beeping in her ear startled her out of sleep those were the only things she knew and then for a horrible, horrible second she thought she wasn't. That she was being pulled from a wonderful dream to find herself back in that cold, dirty truck, or worse, in a cold room far beneath the earth, her rescue a fever dream her mind had given her because the truth was too harsh a reality to bear. It was only a second but the thought broke her so much that when she felt a hand coming towards her face she didn't have the strength to turn away from it.

But it didn't hit her.

It fumbled with something behind her and then the beeping stopped and she was pulled into that warmth, an ever-so-stubbly cheek rubbing against her temple as a sigh huffed against her hair.

It wasn't a dream.

It was Jay.

It was his tired grumble in her ear, his chest she was pressed against, his arms wrapped tight around her- very tightly. It was him.

She was safe.

"You okay?" He asked sleepily but his touch quickly became more intentional, and then a lot softer. "It's okay, it was just my watch, my alarm- you're okay-"

"I know."

Holy crap his eyes were green.

Whatever else she might've said was lost as she stared him, so fucking close she could see there wasn't any gray in them right now, so close she could see all the tiny freckles across his nose and cheeks, could probably count them if she had the time. This was the closest she'd ever been to a boy, the closest she'd been to him. He'd been wearing his vest yesterday, the day before and she supposed they'd been this close last night but she hadn't been thinking about it, hadn't been thinking about the fact that her breath probably stunk, all of her probably did and she had to pee-

"What is it?"

"I think I have to pee."

At first he just blinked but then a slow, sleepy smile spread across his lips. "Well that's a good sign."

It was. She couldn't actually remember the last time she'd gone but that didn't make it any less embarrassing when he had to help her to the toilet, her legs still not quite able to hold her up on their own.

But she'd manage.

"You sure you don't-"

"Yes."

She was pretty pathetic right now, but not that much. And though Jay looked a little worried he just smiled and backed out of the washroom, though not without a parting joke.

"It's totally okay if you have an accident alright? I've got another set of clothes. Only one though and then I'm going to have to steal Mouse's."

Jackass.

She might've said that out loud because she thought she heard him laugh but she was too busy trying not to cause an accident until she could lower herself down and pull off her, his pants, flinching when she finally sat on the cold steel. And then relieved beyond measure when she went. Who knew such a basic bodily function could feel like freedom?

And... since he'd done so much for her, why not ask for just one more thing?

"Underwear!" She called out, she'd ask but she wasn't going to do it to his face, her own already flushing. "You can get me underwear since you forgot!"