The Blade in Gravity Falls

CHAPTER 11: IN WHICH THE DEPTHS OF COMPETITION ARE EXPLORED

After farming enough potatoes, Techno had farmed enough Potatoes to reach top 50 in all potatoes farmed, making around 242,000 potatoes a day.

'That can't be right; there aren't that many potatoes in the world. Probably.'

Techno decided to become the number one potato farmer in Ș̵͎͒̑͜͝k̴̺̱̅ý̸̮̈b̴̲̺̒l̶͙͌̈̎o̵̝̳̍c̶̻̭͌ḳ̶̗̀, kicking off one of the larger wars he would take part in. Techno changed his lands production from somewhat generalist to potato farming exclusively. After making the transfer, Techno reached 309,000 potatoes a day inside a building known as the potato pyramid.

Technoblade believed this would be able to defeat any other competitors, but desided to consult the classics anyways. In Sun Tsu's The Art of War, Sun Tsu says, "If you know yourself, and you know your enemy, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles." , So Techno began looking into other prominent Potato farmers for those who could challenge him. Techno found one man as dedicated to the art of potato farming, a squid humanoid named Im_a_Squid_Kid.

Techno infiltrated SquidKid's island in order to get a feeling for how many potatoes squid's farm could produce, being around 310,000. Techno fell temporarily into despair, as Squid's island was so far into debt to keep farming potatoes, it would be incredibly difficult to surpass Squid. Not only that, Squid also ran a painting reproduction on the side to keep costs down.

'A bit of a schemer, eh? I like it!'

Techno wasn't specifically worried about the difference in potato income; he was more worried about Squid's head start. A head start of an absurd 7.5 million potatoes. Techno almost caved to the mounting difficulties, but the sunk cost fallacy didn't allow it.

'Ah, the good old sunk cost fallacy. It's robbed me and given me money more times than I can count.'

Techno revitalized his farming method further, shutting down his mines to make more potatoes in a new building called the potato dome, producing 337,000 a day. Techno got so desperate he tried manually farming potatoes in addition to the industrial method. It only lasted an hour before he gave up, but Techno really wanted to be number one.

Techno discovered a fatal flaw in Squid's farming operation. Squid's peasants were working to close together, meaning if someone were to watch them they would make a mistake and waste time, taking down Squid's production by as much as 90%. Techno had a man named Whitelisted go to squid's island, and keep watch over Squid's peasants.

'Industrial sabotage, I respect it.'

Techno didn't trust sabotage alone to keep him in the lead, so he began to look at alternative items to feed his minions. Thanks to the drugs, Techno's farm reached 450,000 a day. Eventually, Squid caught on to Whitelisted, and began to question him. Whitelisted claimed he was just there to see the paintings, which Squid seemed to believe. Squid began to leave sign asking Whitelisted what he wanted.

Techno found a better performance enhancing drug, and began applying it to his minions, reaching a total of 893,000 potatoes a day. Shortly after, Techno reached third most potatoes farmed globally, and investigated second place. When he visited Second place's island, Techno was almost sick at how inefficient the farming was, decrying that "you could get away with such a poor farming technique in some garbage vegetable like carrots, but potatoes? How dare you" and "I've seen Irish famines with more potatoes than this farm.". Against such a week foe, Techno easily took second place while continuing to fight towards first, with only a lead of 3 million standing in his way.

One day, while Whitelisted was visiting Squid's island, a pair of guards showed up and began asking about Squid. They left, and Whitelisted told Squid about them. The pair were never heard from again, and there are rumors Squid killed them.