Tesoro

34 | Exposed Secrets

"I knew you wouldn't tell me anything because you didn't want me to get involved.. and I promised not to" I sighed "But.. now, Ross... I have to know. Please."
His thumb stroked my cheek, as he seemed to think about what I'd just said.

"Okay" he nodded silently, before pulling away.

I took a deep, shaky breath- wondering if my ears had deceived me, or if he'd just really said.. okay.

"I don't want to scare you more" he licked his lips "But maybe knowing will help place some questions to rest"

I nodded, adjusting myself better on the ottoman, even though the dress was making it a bit difficult to be comfortable.

He pulled the ottoman even more forward with me on top, to where it was right next to the couch- right in front of him. One of his legs on the couch- the other to the side.

"I've been in this game for a long time" he sighted "I didn't get a choice on it"

My eyebrows narrowed.

"My dad- god they loved him. They worshipped him. The life of crime helped him get power, money- and it all went to his head" he shrugged "We didn't have much growing up, believe it or not. The basis of all of this, was build upon fucking fields of weed, stealing and.. well, more."

My eyes shifted to his luxurious apartment- then to him, and... it felt a little odd that it wasn't much of a surprise.

You can't be powerful, and ridiculously wealthy- not without stepping on some heads, or making shady connections.

The Lynch's were no different.

"My momma was always sweet" he smiled a bit, pressing his lips "She found out about everything once he started bringing the money home. It did almost break them up- but somehow they stuck together, though I doubt it was healthy. I remember them being quite separated as a kid"

I nodded, sort of relating to that situation.

"I was the oldest of the three, so my dad's eyes were on me from the very start. He wanted me to be him. 'The Machine'" he did air quotes "That's what they called him, and still do. It came from his desire to never stop, his strength and lack of empathy"

The words he spoke looked to be physically poisoning to him, and I could tell it was hard for him to open up.

"He was in charge- had all these people bound to him. Connections with the dirty rich, and famous. People feared him- and that included his own family" Ross looked back at me again "He wanted his legacy to live on through me, so he'd take me with him- I've seen the most scarring shit as a child. I didn't understand it- and this whole thing was going on behind my mom's back. She was aware he wasn't setting a good example, but not about him taking me to the strip club as a ten year old"

I tightened my grip to my dress, processing his words.

I wanted to shut my eyes- couldn't even imagine the amount of scary confusion a small child, could've felt.

"Anyway" he swallowed "I did come to the age where I'd try to replicate him- do everything he did, being introduced to all sorts of shit. It took me a few years to fully turn around and look at my father for who he really was .. a shitting monster"

His voice was a bit shaky, so, I placed my hand on top of his, and he stared down at our hands.

I pressed my lips.

Taking a breath, he looked up at me once again "I started acting out. I didn't want to be him. I still don't, and yet, here I fucking am- cus this life is all I've ever known. He got me inside the group, and I can't just pull out- not without being killed"