Deprived

Chapter 50 - Contribution

And Jesse was tired. Tired of feeling weak, feeling like a victim that shook at the slightest rustle in the wind. Tired of being constantly reminded of his trauma, be it by his mind or his body.

Jesse wanted to do something. To do more, to help the people around him, who were suffering just like him.

But his magic was still fickle at best.

Sometimes it fizzled and sputtered out from the slightest attempt of using his magic. Other times, it flared uncontrollably and beyond his will.

Jesse blinked before scowling at the sky, feeling a slight drop of rain. Willing his magic to relent, to stop influencing the weather into a potent storm.

We've had enough darkness in our lives. It's time to offer us some warmth and light.

Warmth enveloped him and Jesse smiled, nuzzling against Xavier's cheek as his mate leaned in to press a chaste kiss against Jesse's jaw.

Above, the clouds waned almost instantly and Xavier's cheeky smile made Jesse flush and avert his gaze.

This feels so strange. But also so good.

A part of him wanted to feel guilty about enjoying Xavier's company. Despised him for developing a bond with his newfound mate while slowly moving past James.

But realistically, Jesse knew he couldn't mourn James forever. Of course he missed his late mate and if he had a chance to turn back time, to avoid all of this from happening in the first place, he would have.

Just as much as Jesse knew Xavier would've wanted his Fated mate to be alive as well. It was only natural that their souls longed for their Fated half to be there, to be alive.

However there was no way to change the flow of time. No one on earth could change that fact. Not even someone as powerful as Hisoka from the Council, could bend time to their will.

They could never get their pasts back. But they could fight to maintain their future.

"Your hands are ice-cold, sweetheart." Xavier frowned, fingers folding over Jesse's hands and gently blowing them.

Jesse shuddered at the warmth that slowly returned to his prickling fingers, leaning against Xavier as the man cradled his hands as if they were fragile.

Heating them up with his own warmth, gently rubbing them to get sensation back in Jesse's hands. And while the chill in Jesse's hands dissipated, he still felt cold.

As if reading his mind, Xavier pulled Jesse closer, smiling as the young man flushed and averted his gaze. Both of them feeling a flutter in their stomach, smiling as if they were young, inexperienced lovers who held hands for the first time.

Jesse smiled to himself, listening to Xavier's heartbeat as he rested his ear against the man's chest. In a way, they were inexperienced lovers.

Xavier didn't have any experience with his late mate, and Jesse only had a handful of moments to treasure. And given how James had even protested about sleeping in the same bed, nothing had happened between them besides a few kisses.

To know that finally, they both had the chance to create and keep a mating bond. Something they had both hoped of, dreamed of to achieve.

Now that they finally received that chance, they had no idea how to continue. They were awkwardly fluttering around one another, wanting to further develop the relationship and at the same time, they didn't want to push the other too far.

Well, Jesse knew that Xavier was being incredibly patient because of him. He was the one who needed to be treated carefully with all his trauma.

Yet with each interaction he had with Xavier, how Xavier respected Jesse and his feelings, made the young man float on a cloud.