Mortal End: A Simmering Pit of Jiggery Pokery

Chapter Ten

Convinced that his subordinate had had a visitation, Ænus P Wordsworth tried to make sense of the words tumbling out of Savant Poe's mouth: "Doomsday... Kilkhoz Carter.... Magna...."

"Sit still, why don't you, whilst I get you a glass of brandy. It must be the shock, man, " said Ænus, convinced that a mouthful of alcohol would cure any ailment. "Although, why you of all people would be shocked, I really can't fathom, " he continued. "You work with dead bodies."

"No, Sir, " said Poe, "It's nothing to do with the body, it's to do with the tombstone. I was just looking at Kilkhoz Carter's tombstone and it came to me. Kilkhoz Carter. Magna Carta. That's how we'll find out, Sir, who them bones belong to."

Ænus P. Wordsworth stood back, squinted his thyroidic eyes and surveyed his assistant with the closest feeling he could get to awe. Poe was obviously not as stupid as he looked, although he did look quite stupid, in Ænus's convex eyes at least. In fact he was a darn sight cleverer that Ænus had been up until now. Damn. Why hadn't he thought of that?

In fact, the Mortal End records were kept here in this very residence. Ænus himself had at times looked through them, purely out of curiosity and pride, attempting without success, to work out when the last stranger had joined their number.

At one time, a 'fresh flesh famine' had raged over Mortal End and the inhabitants had had to make do with what was on offer, or look outside of the village for their bedfellows.

An element of snobbery had hung over the dorp, causing torpor amongst the natives. Who would be the first to dilute the prime genetic material of Mortal End by introducing a stranger into their midst?

More importantly, who might introduce a rogue sliver of DNA that would cause a child to be born brunette or possibly even blond?

"Heaven forbid," thought Ænus, "Heaven forbid."

His ancestors had been one of the founding families of Mortal End. His bloodline was pure. In fact he could trace back his rectoral heritage generation after generation. So, although dogs went a-sniffing in Stifle and cocking their legs in Little Napoo, they buried their bones in Mortal End and made do with the pussycats they had grown up with. Ergo, brothers wed sisters and cousins kissed and soon the population of Mortal End had swelled considerably. And not only in number.

The sucklings, all definitely tinged with a proud pelt of ginger, which satisfied mothers and fathers alike, also had a marked element of bloating going on. Heads had ballooned, eyes began to bulge, tongues were distended, features were enhanced, limbs were extended and there was a general sense of protrusion and elongation about these inbred babies.

Nevertheless, as with all proud parents, their bairns were bonnier than the rest and by the time all the citizens of this small parish had bloomed large, it was unnoticeable to anyone within the district's membrane that all of their children were definitely deformed.

Thus, whoever had been baked in the forest could easily be identified if they were a local. The answer to this conundrum, was as Savant Poe had quite rightly suggested, to be found right here in the village records, piled high in Ænus's rectory, in all the records kept by all the rector's throughout the Shire since records began. 

© 2003 Toula Mavridou-Messer All rights reserved. ***Mortal End, Too is the second novel in the Mortal End series. There is an excerpt available on Wattpad to give you a taste of the storyline. I will post chapters regularly, but there are as yet unknown chapters, so this may take a while. You can sign up for my newsletter, follow me on Twitter (Princess Toula), or like my Facebook page. For more information, see my Amazon author page Author.to/ToulaMavridouMesser. Your support is very much appreciated. Thanks for reading! Toula Xx