SEQUEL TO HOLD ME
"it's only human."
those are words that stick in the minds of eight boys who have found themselves closer than ever because of a year spent at the same college.
minsung, seungin, changhyunlix... and chan :')
The dormitory was buzzing with a mutual sense of excitement again as boxes and suitcases were unearthed and put to use. This time, it was a calmer, quieter, more relieved excitement— not sluggish but not overly hurried.
Through an open window in Minho's room, occasionally, the sound of a car starting up and leaving the parking lot overpowered the subtler, quieter sounds of early summer that kept the air feeling lively and fresh while he worked. Still, dust seemed to spiral and shower down every time Minho picked something up (clearly it wasn't just him though, since they'd been hearing muffled sneezing in neighboring rooms and in the hallway all morning).
Jisung wouldn't know how dusty his room was yet, since he'd decided to procrastinate by keeping Minho company while he packed (partly because Felix was doing the same thing upstairs with Hyunjin and Changbin— and not Chan, since Chan was working that morning, of course— and Jisung didn't want to have to be all alone, packing by himself). Minho wouldn't have said it, as he still didn't seem to know how, but he seemed to want company, too. Hyunjin had only spent maybe ten, fifteen minutes in there with them since most of his things had accumulated upstairs by now.
"Can't believe we're finally done," Jisung groaned, feeling the weight of eight months' worth of assignments, tests, and too-short deadlines fall off his shoulders as he stretched out and his arms and tipped over, falling onto his side on Minho's newly-stripped bed. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched Minho fold the sheets and stuff them into one of the boxes crowding the walking space of the small dorm room.
Freshman year, over, just like that.
Minho just smiled, hands pulling back from the box to rest on his thighs as he considered it with an accomplished, relieved sigh.
Jisung loved it.
There was something so satisfying, so relieving about seeing him smile. When the corners of Minho's lips turned up, it was a reminder for Jisung that the past eight months of fighting and pushing to get Minho to open up had been worth something. Even if Minho still looked like a grumpy cat most of the time, Jisung could usually get him to smile, at least once a day. And that was enough; it made it feel worth it.
Honestly, Jisung hadn't been sure if he was doing the right thing all those months ago. It was just that when he saw Minho, when the eight of them were all gathered in 2Chan's room, obviously struggling, he couldn't help feeling the need to... help. To try, at least.
Minho's sunken, tired eyes cried out to anyone that would hear, though he often tipped his head down so that they couldn't be seen. His mouth had always been set in a firm line, tightly shut, so as to never betray his secrets. His shoulders were held rigidly in place, and more often than not, that place was nearly on line with his ears— hiked up so high it looked painful.
Jisung had reached out. He'd asked if Minho was okay, and offered him relief from his troubles time after time, and Minho always said no. Back off.
Maybe Jisung would've been satisfied to leave it at that, if Minho were just a classmate. But Minho was part of his brand-new friend group. Jisung saw him every day, whether it was at the table that the eight of them always sat at to eat, or in the big, sophomore dorm room they gathered in whenever they had the time to spare at night (and sometimes they still gathered there even when they really didn't have the time to spare). And each day he looked so... uncomfortable, bothered, antsy (the list goes on)... But the worst thing was that he was obviously trying to hide it. He almost looked unhappy to be there, when he was with them, which made it confusing that he willingly showed up to hang out with them almost every time.
And the curiosity, worry, and compassion that was spurred in him every day, watching Minho, all came together and made it impossible to stop watching, and to stop asking.
It just felt so wrong, no matter how much Minho insisted he was fine, to leave him be. It was as if he was silently drowning, and how could Jisung just ignore that? How could he look away as if he never saw? Even if Minho pushed it away each time, how could he keep from throwing him a lifesaver? He'd thought it had been for nothing when Minho told him, for the last time, to quit it. But in time, somehow, he came around. And came all the way to... here.
In some way, Jisung felt like he owed it Minho, who'd always seemed lifeless and despairing, to give him the life— the heart-sustaining love— that he'd been given all his life. Through Minho Jisung felt he got a glimpse of what he could've been, had he not had the steadying, guiding, loving presence that had given him life, by his side. Such a love had he received, that all he wanted was to give of it to someone else; to let someone that hadn't gotten a chance to feel this warmth know what it was like. ...To give Minho the ability to be himself, unashamed, knowing he'll be loved even so.
"Sung?" Minho asked, suddenly, startling Jisung out of his thoughts.
It was a new thing, for Jisung, to space out like this. Usually (as in with Felix, with his mom, with anyone else he might be with) he'd just ramble and let his thoughts flow, unfiltered. With Minho, however, for the sake of the boy's sanity, he found himself keeping quiet more than he ever did with anyone else. It was partly because he knew Minho liked the quiet, but mostly because, gradually, he'd found himself understanding the sorts of things that made Minho uncomfortable, and the sorts of things he should keep to himself if they weren't important to bring up.
"Mhm?" Jisung hummed, watching Minho get nervous— fixing his eyes to his fingers as he fiddled with them, biting his lip as he waited for an answer. That kind of thing was new, too, and Jisung found it nearly as endearing as the smiles— the fact that Minho now got shy and nervous, instead of snapping at him, when he felt uncomfortable or vulnerable.
"So when we... when we leave college. Um. We're not saying goodbye, are we?" Minho exhaled heavily, shakily, the way he always did when he said something that was hard for him to say. "I mean, I... I'll still see you, right?"
Warmth crept into Jisung's face and spilled out through his wide smile and crinkling eyes. Had he really been worried that they wouldn't see each other all vacation long? "Yeah, of course! Let's keep hanging out all summer."
Minho looked so genuinely happy. Yeah, it was all worth it for sure.
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