New Love

Chapter 50:Jay

"Didn't we give it our best shot? Isn't that what my birthday was?" She turned to look at me for the first time since I sat down. The tears glistering in her eye ripped my heart apart. "We all know how that turned out."

I pushed the strand of hair I had been playing with behind her ear.

"It's over now. She's gone."

She scoffed. "No it's not. She will be back. She will always have a hold on you."

"I can't guarantee she will never come back. But I can promise you that I'm done. I've wiped my hands." When she didn't say anything I scooted closer to her and placed my hand on her thigh. She didn't push me away, at least not yet.

"Things were good between us. I know we can make this work."

"The only thing good between us was the sex."

Fuck. This girl was killing me. I heaved, trying to get rid of some of the tightness in my chest.

"There were other good times. Most of them were right here in this park."

"They were good until she showed up, or called and texted you a hundred times."

"You're right. I promised you my whole heart and I wasn't able to fulfill my promise. I don't deserve another chance. You've already given me more than my fair share." I paused and gently placed my hand under her chin. I turned her head so I could look into her eyes. "You bring out this joy and happiness...this passion that I didn't know I had in me. Before I met you I was going through the motions of life. I was numb. I had shut down. But then you came along with this gorgeous smile, and a Dr. Who tshirt and turned my world upside down." I took her hand. "I love spending time with you, being spontaneous with you, and getting my ass kicked in Mortal Kombat by you." That at least got a chuckle out of her. "You are this beautiful woman who likes the same nerdy things as me. Someone I can sit and talk to for hours about everything and nothing. Our connection goes further than just sex. I know you feel it too."

"Jay..." she started but I wasn't done yet.

"Emmy, I know without a fucking doubt that I am madly in love with you. I love you and I need you to forgive me for being such a jerk wad." I leaned in close to her, my lips just inches from her. My heart was in her hands. What happened with it now, was up to her.

"Can you forgive me?"

She shook her head. "I want to but I just don't know if I can." I wiped away the tears that flowed silently down her face, brushing my lips against hers.

"Forgive me?"

"How can I trust you not to disappear on me again if she shows up?"

"If she does show up, then I will stand by your side and we will face her together."

"Why couldn't you have just called me, or text me?"

It was a fair question. One I owed her an explanation too.

"Because I'm a moron. That's my simple answer."

She sniffled. "What's the complicated answer?" I sighed and ran my hands over my face. "If there is even a remote chance of us making this work, then you are going to have to open up to me. No more lies, no more secrets."

"Okay." I sat back and stretched my arm over the back of the bench. "Lucy's mental health issues aren't something that happened to her. It runs in her family." She crossed her arms and looked at me. I wanted so badly to touch her, but she was so closed off I wasn't sure she would let me this time.