Chapter 1.

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Unbelievable!! I can't believe I failed another quiz... nah, used to it anyway... what am I gonna tell my mom now? that's the 3rd time this week.

*Later that night*

Of course what else did I thinks is going to happen, lectured speech drilled right in to my ears for an hour, all I had given her that night was another big apology, "I'll try my best next time", such an Iconic sentence. I'm pretty much used to this kinds of situations and for that I can assume that I am a bad kid. Not a bully, but, I think the word is Troubled. Not bad for a MetalHead.

From time to time I come with the never ending thought of life always being such a narrow hallway, sometimes it gets to the point where I can't see anything anymore around that hallway, Blackened it is.
however, as soon as I get to my room and change on to my favorite shirts, all feels like a hiatus that only I can walk on when I either gently or aggressively thrash and strum my guitar.

Riffs after riffs, Melodies after melodies and Songs after songs is at my full extent of ideas, all though most are repeated everyday, I never get tired of it nor bored cos I know that I can use a riff then reinvent it to something different then I can call it my very own, in other words Taking it as a scale. Anyway, enough with the music lessons. And also… who knows, who knows maybe I can be the next female James staleybain. who can scream like a lion and in demand of justice and on full anger, It sure is quite a dream.

sometimes there really are days when you can no longer play even a single note nor chord anymore, you just do your homework, go jump to sleep then wake up like a Living dead girl on the next morning, then repeat. But how about weekends? Well of course I can, but just in a few brief moments due to my chores, unsatisfying. I want the name reinvention glued right next to my sessions, not just playing and destroying the low E string over and over again, If I wanna do that I might wanna have a good cause that comes with it...or should I call it Seek & Destroy?.

Ruby!
           
    Ruby

I once had this strange feeling.
an emotion or sensibility that I once had that I can never translate to english nor probably any language, the way I would call out this piece of thing is for a short term is... I would say is "strange" or even maybe "oblivious", and to put it all out, I might never know what kind of tone it might actually be.
Scratching my head a hundred times and as well as pondering a hundred times knowing for the fact that I might never get to meet this mysterious feeling that always calls me on multiple nights.
I will not forget to call out that the feeling is mysterious and quite ambiguous itself, however, I can't help and stay for awhile and keep on hovering along the feeling knowing that it doesn't bring me harm at all, it is pleasing and yet odd and rare,
it just...keeps calling me, A calling for what? A calling from who? A calling from where?
And that is when I start to ask those questions it disappears.
Ruby!

"Hey ruby! It's summer time and you know what that means? Summer camp!"

My mom said on a pretty optimistic vocal tone,
Shock and startled, I only responded with a faint "ok", not really sure what I walked in to, she told me that she knows that me and her aren't getting along for quite a while now, so she decided that she and I needed a few spaces away from each other, she gets to work peacefully all by herself all summer without any worries, and I get to explore the wilderness doing fun activities or to finally get to socialize more with others.
She hoped.
I agreed with a pinch of a lie.
I would never want to break her mood nor her heart, even though she broke mine.
You see, me and my mom have been running a drama, a dispute between me and her, its because I told her that I wanted to be a Metal/Rock musician and as well as to be my main profession. she was heavily disappointed that time, said It was worthless and nobody would care about it at all, and of course, what I did is screamed at her and told her she only cares about her self and her job. nearly crying I run into my room and just started mashing my guitar without distortion, however it's night time so… gotta respect the law.
I fell asleep shortly after that night. a KO from crying.

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