The Empty World | The Empty World Sequence [complete | rewriting]

Nineteen

"It does seem a little bit of a double standard."

Julien sighed. "I love Joy, but you and I both know she does dumb things for guys, and it's not in our power to stop that. But you...if you say some kind of independence is your reason, I can respect that, even if it's no longer my main reason." He didn't outright say he'd be disappointed if Morpheus claimed he was willing to be kept by a lover, but Morpheus sensed the thought.

"Not financial independence, but, a kind of independence. It's like when I said I'd realized I could do some things without permission. I chose a path, or, a direction. Using music to make myself noticed and using myself to make music noticed are both part of that path."

"Maybe I'm not seeing the end goal, because caring if your work gets seen or shared doesn't seem like you, Morpheus. I'm aware it's hypocritical coming from me."

"Why is it hypocritical?"

"Because, I could actually let young, mortal designers take over design duty for House of Julien Dangerous, and still be financially independent, instead of making up new, fake identities to allow myself to always be that fortunate, young designer. It's arrogance. I don't want anyone else to control what my name goes on."

"Well, it's pride, at least. Some pride is healthy."

"Pride goes before the fall."

"Pride goes before destruction, and a spirit is lifted before a fall. It is better to be humbled with the meek, than to divide spoils with the proud," Morpheus quoted. "It should be wrong to say my goal, because it is a kind of arrogance, to assume there is this audience, but I want to be noticed just enough to reach the ones who most need to hear what I want to write songs about. If there are people who can find music so meaningful as to tattoo lyrics on their wrist, then it just stands to reason that music and meaningful emotion are things that should continue in the world."

Julien ground the remainder of his cigarette into the glass tray on his desk. He smiled, even in his eyes, though his head was bowed in some attempt to hide this. "I kind of love you and hate you right now."

"I could never hate you. I think you underestimate yourself. People need clothes, you provide stylish clothes. I see how hard you work at it. You should earn money for it. But that means all the people in your offices and stores have jobs, too. It means people can have a little help expressing themselves. You make beautiful things. I won't believe that's as selfish as you make it sound."

"When you make this meaningful, original music...."

"It's not quite finished, but I'm working on it."

Julien nodded, "As soon as it's ready, give me a copy. I'll make them play it in all the Caution stores."

Morpheus knew those were the juniors stores and that they were located in malls and trendy neighborhoods all over the world. "You can do that?"

"Of course. They are my stores. But, you know? I do let my junior designers design for the kids."

"You're not quite as arrogant as you think." Morpheus grinned at Julien.

Julien stood up. He took the biker cap from the desktop and placed it on Morpheus' head. "Tell me, again, what barely-legal me looked like."

Morpheus told Julien exactly what he'd felt looking at his eighteen-year-old self.

It took Morpheus until spring to get his first collection of songs composed, arranged, recorded, and mixed. He had three other guitarists living in the palace with him. Joy mainly played bass, but Mother and Shade were both skilled guitarists who could take the role of playing bass, lead, or rhythm as a song required. Morpheus was OK at keyboard instruments, but Shade and Athen were both better. At Joy's insistence, they contacted Amadeo in New York to record a few piano segments, to be mixed with their recordings in LA. A percussionist proved more difficult to find, and Mother hired a series of session musicians to fill-in while they discussed whether Morpheus intended to create a permanent band.