"𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞„

eighteen, connections

She swallowed. Was it really the best idea to fight? To kill? She'd killed people before, in self defence. But was it? They weren't hurting her. And the people at Oceanside...

"You okay?" Maggie said, snapping Jane out of her thoughts.

"Yeah. Yea, I'm good," she said, smiling wide for Maggie.
The discussion was soon over, and the group left the manor as quick as they could. Maggie suggested they should split up, and gather their end of the deal that way. Rick nodded, splitting with Daryl, and to everyone's surprise, glenn split with Rosita.

"Guess it's just you and me then," Maggie said to Jane, patting her on the shoulder. The girl nodded, and they headed off toward the farms.

"It's beautiful here," Maggie said, walking through the rows of caravans.
"It's small. And I hate that old guy."
"He's not the best, but he's not evil. And I think it's size makes it more homely."
Jane nodded, because she somewhat agreed.

"How's Ellie doing?" Maggie asks, and Jane smiles - no one ever asks about Ellie.
"She's doing good. She likes you a lot. The others haven't really made much effort to talk to her, and I'm grateful you have. I just hope she settles in okay."

"She's a sweet kid. She was quiet when I first spoke to her, but then I mentioned her bow, and she wouldn't shut up." They both laughed, Maggie looking down lovingly at the girl.

It was good to know that Ellie was the lighthearted, funny girl she was to Jane to others too.

"How's Carl doing?" Jane gave Maggie a really? Look, but couldn't stop her lips from forming into a smile.
"He's fine. It's nice seeing his face again."

"Yea, he's fine now. He wasn't when you were gone. Never seen the kid like that at all. Glenn was worried like hell about him."

"He worries me sometimes too." She said, looking down at her feet.

"He's a sweet kid. And he's tough. He'll be alright."
Jane looked unconvinced. Mainly, she just wanted to be there for Carl, because she wasn't for so long.

"Jane?" Maggie exclaimed, taking a hold of Jane's hands and caressing her fingers over them soothingly.

"I'm pregnant."
Jane was shocked to say the least.
Having a baby? Here? Now? In this world?
It was a mistake. It was dangerous. And most of all, it was stupid.

Eventually, the kid, or her - or both - would get ripped apart by walkers. Or they'd get sick, and no one would have any medicine. Or, like Carl mentioned, they'd be murdered and eaten by cannibals.
Jane wanted to throw up. She wanted to scream. But she didn't.

Embracing Maggie in a tight hug, she whispered lightly in her ear.
"I'm sorry."
Maggie was confused by this, but didn't look hurt as Jane walked away, the only sound present being the soft chat of the working farmers.

How could she? She was going to be vulnerable for the next nine months, no - the rest of her life.

They hadn't really even settled into Alexandria yet, only being there a year. It almost tore down once, it could tear again. She thought about having kids with Carl, and how impossible and stupid the idea was. Even if she did want kids, she wouldn't have them in this wasteland.

She didn't know where she was walking away to, finding herself minutes later standing beside the still empty truck. She could see the others approaching with handfuls of things, so she went to help.

Soon they had loaded up the truck (and what they could fit in the car) and headed back home.
She was eager to see Carl, and eager to see her bed.
She wasn't eager to see her mom.

When they arrived, Carl, Michonne, Carol, Eugene, Abraham, Sasha, and Enid were standing around, waiting.
They all got out, and began to load boxes and boxes of supplies and food out of the truck whilst Rick told everyone what was happening.

He put on one of his big mighty speeches and won the 'crowd' over with his words. As per usual.
Jane continued unloading heavy things and putting them away - still thinking about Maggie - when Carol came up to her.

Jane didn't see her until she turned to put another box away, and her heart almost stopped.
She decided to just ignore her mom, something she had been doing since yesterday and had become quite good at.
But that failed, because Carol began to help unload the boxes so she could talk to Jane.

"I'm proud of you. Rick asking you to fight for hilltop? That might be the biggest compliment you'll ever get." She said, smiling. She loved her mom so much, and she hoped that maybe Carl was wrong.

"You're not going to be all mom and tell me to stay home are you?" She said, trying to joke around and suppress the anger that was coursing through her body, paired with a sharp, painful feeling of insecurity.

"No. You can hold your own. I've always known that.
What I was going to talk to you about was, this thing between you and Carl."

It was like Jane couldn't shake it off anymore, because what Carol Peleteir had just said was a complete and utter lie. She had never known that. She probably still had her doubts. Ontop of that, she had the audacity to ask about Carl. Which, with everyone doing so. It was beginning to get incredibly annoying, and, she loved talking about Carl - but it seemed that was all she was known for. She was waiting for them to start only calling her "Carls girlfriend".

"Why, exactly? There's a fight we should be preparing for."

"I don't know. Just thought I should know what you guys are up to. Like a mother should." A mother should also protect her children. Guess you missed that.

"We kissed. That what you wanted to hear? It doesn't matter."

"What's wrong? You're acting weird."
Taking a deep breath, Jane dropped the bomb that had been ticking inside her chest all day.
"Maybe I'm acting weird mom, because I just heard that you didn't even try to look for me. You gave up on me. What am I supposed to do with that? Did you just want to believe I was dead? Do you really hate me that much?"

Putting a hand on Jane's shoulder apologetically, Carol looked more than sorry. But Jane flinched away, not wanting to even hear what she had to say.

"Why wouldn't you look for your own daughter?" Pain scratched at her throat and tears threatened to spill, but she kept her calm when she spotted Carl Grimes in the distance, watching over the two from afar.

"look, you know what happened with Sophia. You couldn't even hold a knife. I wanted to believe you were dead so you weren't suffering out there."

"Carl believed in me." She said, gesturing over to him.

"did he find you? No." At this, Jane grew even angrier. How could she just stand here and insult Carl like she even tried? Like she even cared?

"I found him. Because I was capable of surviving. And for the record, I could hold a knife. You were gone by then anyway." She stormed off, leaving Carol to do the rest of the unloading. Her feet carried her almost subconsciously to Carl, and he stood, waiting for her - as always.

★

brooooooo sorry I took so long to post this honestly I hated writing this chapter lol 😞
Anyways, important question:
Do you guys think Carol is in the right here? Was she reasonable for not looking for Jane?
Lmk what you think 🫶🫶
ALSO THANK U SM FOR 400 READS WTF?!?!!
I love u guys sm and thanks for reading.
Also don't forget to vote guys !!!! ❤️