Late Nights & Pillow Fights

Day 14: Jeans & Jumpers

I sighed, looking anywhere but at Lane as I focused on not letting myself cry. I wanted to be with Lane, I really did, I mean he's made me happier in two weeks than any guy I've ever been with and what I have with him is not something that I want to give up so soon.

"Lane...I need to focus on bettering myself right now. I need to get a job that I can keep while in college and I need to get my shit together if I ever want to get Israel back. I have to focus on what I need to do for him right now, and I just don't think I can be distracted by a relationship at the same time."

He didn't speak, but it was clear that he was having trouble accepting it.

I sighed, my voice growing little. "My parents and Aunt," I said, "they would never give me Israel back if they saw I was...intimate with someone right now. They think that my priorities should be elsewhere and I may not agree completely with them, but I need to do what I have to to get my son back Lane."

He nodded slowly, his mouth open slightly as if to protest, but he didn't say anything, he just kept nodding and nodding.

"Lane, trust me, this is very hard to walk away from—you're very hard to walk away from, but I don't really have a choice."

He kept on nodding, even as he got up from the bed to go to the bathroom. "You're right." Was all he said on his way there.

His voice was monotonous and his expression the same, a complete switch from what it had been seconds ago.

"Lane—"

"Dawn, please stop." He said, not looking at me, still walking to the bathroom. "I just...I need to—"

He closed the door, cutting his sentence and our conversation short.

                           *     -     *     -     *

We all sat in the kitchen, eating breakfast in silence. It wasn't a tense one though, everybody seemed to be in their own worlds, Daryll I imagined was thinking about his mother, and Lane I guessed was thinking about this morning.

They were both sitting on the opposite side of the counter from me, slowly eating their cereal.

I looked at them, studying their faces and bodies, I'd always enjoyed people watching, especially when they didn't notice me. I don't think I was being discreet enough though, because Daryll's head turned slightly as his eyes snapped to me, catching me watching him.

He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes as he continued eating his food, his sudden movement snapping Lane out of his trance as well.

"So...Lauren said yesterday that we can either go to work today and head to school straight from there after the going away party, or we can stay in and leave at three when the buses come." I said, looking from Lane to Daryll, waiting for them to suggest ideas.

"Well I'm going to work." Daryll said, "I still have to help Lauren with one more meeting today so I don't have a choice."

"Have you packed?" I asked.

"My one backpack? Yeah."

I nodded slowly, turning to Lane. "And you?"

"Well I haven't packed, so I think I'm just gonna stay in and leave with the buses from here."

"I'll stay with you," I said, "I haven't packed either, so..."

He nodded. "Sounds good." He said, getting up and taking his bowl to the sink to wash it.