Fearless//Bella Ramsey

Emotional wreck

I am the definition of an emotional wreck

I've cried 10 times in the last 2 hours
I came back to Bella's house and I've been trying to see what I'm gonna say on instagram

FUCK THIS

Honestly don't know how this is gonna work when we go back to film stranger things
I mean I can act professional but he can't

Bella walks into their room
"Yella are you hungry"

Tell the truth or lie ?

"No I ate at Jamie's I'll eat later"

Double lie

"Carolina,love I know you didn't eat at Jamie's he texted Jack and jack texted me"

FUCK

Just apologize

"I'm sorry, I- I'm sorry for lying
Just please don't be mad "

"Maya I'm not mad that you lied I'm mad that you've been starving yourself since you got here"

"I'm not starving myself I eat if I didn't I wouldn't be alive"

"Mayella eating isn't just a thing to stay alive you should be able to enjoy eating my love."

"I can't enjoy it
I haven't been able to enjoy eating for 2 years"

"Why, why do you do that to yourself
Please just help me understand so I can help you please mayella you need help wether its professional or not you need help "

Bella raises their voice a little

"If you think I need help then why are you with me huh
I don't need your fucking help Bella so if you want to leave me then tell me "

I'm practically screaming

"Mayella im not going to leave you
I fucking love you and I just want you to be fucking okay but you won't listen "
Bella screams back at me

He just said he loved me
Ok I'm smiling a little bit probably not the best timing but hes said he loves me

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"You said love me"
Bella looks at the ground smiling while playing with his hands

"Well I do and all of this is scary "

"I love you too"

Bella looks up and grabs my waist
And pulls me in

"Maya please let me help you"

Thinking about it

"Okay"

"Okay

Bella kisses my lips then my head

"Let's go eat and then you can go the instagram
You don't have to eat a lot just some "

__________________________

This is the moment that I dreaded all day

Why couldn't have Finn been a good boyfriend why did he have to put me through this

I set up my phone in Bella's room to
Record Bella sitting on the bed behind me working on the song

"Hey guys I just wanted to clear some things up
Because there's a lot of things that were said from both sides
First off I'd like to say please don't send any hate to Finn or Bella or anyone in general

Secondly I write music as a way of journaling and I will admit that making an album about my ex relationship isn't the nicest thing I've done
But neither is calling me a psychotic whore

A lot of people ask why we broke up and what led to it
Honestly I think it's just our business
But I will say that neither of us were happy and it was just what was best for us 

I hope that you guys can understand and stop sending hate love you bye"

"Ahhhhhhuh"

Bella gives me a concerned look from the scream I just produced in to that pillow

"Do you feel better Yella"

"Yeah a little actually a lot"

_______________________

Sav
Hey guyssswhat if they broke up 🫣