Online love

Chapter 3. Dear Diary

Dear diary,

Today I did something unthinkable. I don't even know how I came up with it and I hope no one finds out. 

I met someone today, he is spectacular. He looks like one of those guys who play soccer in Montana (to say any state in the USA, the important thing is that he's hot).He's blond, tall and strong. And when he writes it sounds like poetry.

Why am I fantasizing so much about a guy I met because he liked a picture of my ass? 

 Anyway, anyone else who would have said anything to me about my physique, or mentioned what he wanted to do with me would have seemed disgusting to me.

And if I think coldly about what I've done and said today.... I don't feel like me, I don't feel like it's something that someone like me would do, but I like it.... 

I'm going to think like the person who posted a picture of their ass on the internet is someone else. It's not me. Her name is... Ellen. No, not Ellen, that rhymes with Helen. Well, I'll think of a name. That's the least of it. 

My God, every time I think about it I hallucinate more, I have uploaded a picture of my ass to the Internet. However, I like not feeling like me, I like to feel wanted, to have men I don't know tell me dirty things.

I'm single, I'm young, I'm hot and I'm not taking advantage of it. I don't want anyone to take advantage of it physically because they don't deserve it, and in person I always feel like I'm the one who loses. But online? No one knows me, no one knows who I am, and no one is going to know who I am.

This is going to be between me, my diary and him. And if I delete everything tomorrow, it's like nothing happened, like the fun is just in my head.But I want more.I'm writing to you diary, because I can't tell this to anyone else. I can't think of what my friends would say to me.

You're crazy! But how can you upload a picture of yourself like that on the internet! You'll be found out! How disgusting! Anyone can see it!

I an sure that's not possible. There are thousands of asses, in fact, we all have one. How could they know it was mine?

On the other hand, today I was going to start the work project, there are 3 months left for the presentation, I think it's good. My supervisor says so, although I think he doesn't read too much into it. 

Anyway, today I got busy..., and I wasn't able to do much work. Let's see if I can get my act together during the week. 

And, well, I'm off to dinner, I think my mother is making carbonara. If only I could tell someone what's on my mind!