ON HOLD | Y!dazai osamu x reader ♡ corrupt

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tw: yandere, murder, unhealthy relationship and dynamic, obsession

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the two walked away, dazai pulling y/n away from the previous direction she was headed. the shorter girl didn't question it and only spoke of the adventure she and rampo had while trying to use the train.

unknown to her, dazai was purposefully pulling her away from that place, where he murdered every single port mafia member that was headed her direction.

he was able to silence them from revealing their whereabouts to mori, but it was only so long until he would find out that his two most cherishes ex-mafioso's were alive. dazai knew it would've been better if they stayed hidden and he would've, if his friends dying wish wasn't for him to join the good side.

he originally planned to keep y/n hidden forever. but after seeing the ADA and how they treated each other, he couldn't help but want her to experience the refreshing feeling of being around good people. people who respect each other and care for each other and not out of fear.

it was too late for him to become a good person. his atrocious sins that he committed in the mafia are ones that can never be erased or reversed, no matter what good deeds he does. but for y/n it was different. she's an innocent, good-willed girl who was born to unfortunate circumstances. she wasn't a murderer like him, a criminal, a monster and a devil, but a girl who was dragged into the world of darkness out of mistake. she truly deserved to feel joy. an emotion dazai found himself lacking, whenever he wasn't around his beloved.

but it didn't matter to him, what emotions he lost while in the mafia didn't matter to him. as long as he'd have his y/n with him, nothing else mattered.

dazai looked up at the darkening sky, watching as the clouds slowly passed by and as the sun began setting. in his right hand, he held y/n's, who stopped talking a bit ago. comfortable silence engulfed them and neither of them felt the need to interrupt it.

the rather cold breeze that passed by him put him back into his train of thought, making him remember of the times he never thought he'd ever feel any emotion towards anybody. nothing mattered to him and he didn't particularly care about anything either.

he desired death, since a young age. having joined the mafia in order to find a reason to live. maybe not the best place to search, but it ended up working out, didn't it?

he never thought that his cold heart could be moved by another individual, at least not someone as pathetic as her. when she first came to the mafia, she was 12 years old and he was 15.

he vividly remembers the day mori brought her in and back then he was still new to the mafia. mori had taken a liking to him though, and showed him his new prized posession. he didn't understand mori's motives, and he still doesn't. if that idiot pervy old man never introduced dazai to her, maybe he would've still had her in his hold.

maybe mori didn't expect him to be phased by a stupid, pitiful, malnourished girl who only knew how to draw. never having been to daycare or school, her parents homeschooled her and they were bad at it as well. her japanese was shit and whenever she didn't know a word she'd stare at the boy in awkwardness, expecting him to understand her half assed sentence. well of course he did though, he's smart. and all she spoke about at that age was how excited she was about unicorns and kittens, even though she'd never seen them before, outside of pictures. well obviously she wouldn't see unicorns outside of pictures. but cats? they basically dominated yokohama.

her dumbness and innocence is what brought him in at first, a weird reason. but she's the complete opposite of him in every aspect. while his heart was cold and black to no return, hers was pure and warm.