Mine To Keep

2005 - 2008

Making a 13 year old introverted young boy live in a foreign land for a year of exchange studies seems to be a  new form of cruelty for the young Kim Seokjin. He had to navigate through an unfamiliar place surrounded by unfamiliar people and he only has himself to rely on. He can't remember what he was thinking when he agreed with Namjoon that enrolling in an exchange program would be a good idea. Now, there is no going back since he only has 3 days left to get himself situated in this quaint little town found in the very picturesque country of New Zealand. You got this Kim Seokjin, hwaiting! 

But it seems that his fighting spirit only lasted him for a week and he hasn't even spent a full week yet in his new school since the first 3 days were spent roaming around the town and getting familiar with his new surroundings. He thought it would be a lot easier once the school year started since he will have his studies to distract and keep him busy but he found out that it was all just wishful thinking. It became clear that the only thing keeping him sane is the nightly phone conversations that he has with Namjoon. 

"Joonie, fuck this shit. I can't do this anymore. I'll buy myself a plane ticket right now and go home!" Seokjin lamented over the phone. 

"No you won't, Jinnie. You will finish this 1 year course then that's when you'll go home." Namjoon responded to pacify the distressed Seokjin on the other line. 

"That's easy for you to say because you can already speak English fluently but I can barely do that myself. And surely you can say that because you don't miss me at all!" Seokjin retorted. 

"Who said that I don't miss you? I'm no longer going home directly from school because you are not there with me so instead I'm here at Appa's studio." Namjoon defended himself. It was a blessing that his father allowed him to spend some time at the studio instead of going home to an empty house since his mother would also be at the gallery where she works. 

"Then let me go home so that we can spend after school hours together." Seokjin offered while looking around the overly spacious apartment that his parents prepared for him after telling them of his exchange studies plan. He may be introverted and can fend for himself but he realized that he can only do so when he is at home. And where he is at right now is far from being home. 

"No. Even though I miss you, I still want you to finish that course. Remember that you'll need that experience for your college degree." Namjoon comforted after hearing the sadness in his Seokjin hyung's voice. 

"What college degree? I'm not even in high school yet. Come on Joonie. I'll develop anxiety because of this." Seokjin cried while clutching the phone tightly. He badly wants to go home.

"No Jinnie, you are stronger than what you think. Remember that we never stop something that we already started. We can always talk over the phone like this and you can tell me how your day was. And I know it's hard but you have to also make some friends while you are there. Please promise me that you'll try doing that," Namjoon tried his best to stay calm and comforted his crying best friend on the other line. He would always have a hard time once Seokjin starts crying because the 13 year old rarely does. Once Seokjin cries, he knows that the elder is already deeply hurt or troubled. 

"I don't know, Joon. I guess I can try but promise me that you'll always answer when I call," Seokjin softly sobbed. 

"Of course hyungie. I'll always answer your calls," the 11 year old earnestly responded. 

"I'm so sorry Joonie if I'm always the one that needs comforting. I should be more reliable in the future so that you can also depend on me," Seokjin murmured while wiping his face dry of tears. 

"You are already reliable, hyungie. And we can always depend on each other. We are best friends after all. Now go to sleep since it's past 10 in the evening there," Namjoon tried to assure his best friend. 

"Thank you Joonie for always making me feel better and good night. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Seokjin stated with a calmer tone of voice this time. 

"Thank you as well hyungie. You did great today and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight and have a sweet dream," Namjoon sweetly responded. They ended the call after that and true to his words Seokjin tried his best to power through the challenge of doing the exchange studies. 

Gradually Seokjin was able to be comfortable with some of his classmates and even got the chance to be invited over to a birthday party by his seatmate who became his new friend. He would also give daily updates to Namjoon of how he was doing abroad and in exchange the younger would update him of all the news back home. Being apart for the 1st time after being best friends for 6 years was a great challenge for them and Seokjin's exorbitant overseas phone bill is a great proof of that. Seokjin is so grateful for having Namjoon as his best friend and now he is also glad to meet Chad, his new friend. 

Chad is his seatmate turned new friend. He is glad that for the 1st time ever he had a friend of the same age and he can proudly say that this time he was the 1st one to initiate the start of their friendship. Chad is easy to talk with and is also very accommodating especially with the fact that Seokjin is not really fluent in English. Through Chad as well, Seokjin got introduced to another type of relationship and family dynamics. He got to meet Chad's parents after being invited to his birthday party and he could say that it was another opportunity to broaden his understanding. 

Living in a very conservative country and going to a very exclusive school where everyone is expected to act accordingly, Seokjin can say that he only knows a little of the non-binary gender. He does know about it since he is not that naive but he doesn't personally know of anyone as open and free to introduce themselves as part of non-binary gender like how Chad's parents introduce themselves. 

Meeting Chad's parents didn't mean that he got to understand all and everything about the non-binary gender but what they made clear to Seokjin was that love is a universal emotion and shouldn't be restrained within boundaries such as gender. They themselves don't claim to know all about being part of any non-binary gender because for them all they know is about themselves and their preferences. And there is one thing they would always say to both Chad and Seokjin, to be human is to love in any form or color and what's important is the presence of mutual respect and consensus with those involved. 

Chad's parents were the very first gay couple that he ever met in his whole life and they are also one of the sweetest parents right after Namjoon's parents. He was thankful that they were not offended with his curiosity and gladly welcomed him in their home. 

A year spent abroad helped Seokjin a lot and made him learn a lot of things in life. It made him more independent and more open to new things in life. That 1 year did not only help Seokjin but Namjoon as well. Namjoon got into poetry and song writing since he started going to his father's studio to kill time because Jin is not with him. His poems would usually reflect his sadness of being apart from his best friend and that sadness worsened when it was his turn to be abroad for his own 1 year of exchange studies. 

Why is it so hard for our paths to cross? Can't we stop being these 2 parallel lines and meet already? 
I never saw this coming.