bury this hatchet

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If I bury this hatchet, I am going
to do it right this time.

The first time I tried, it was my
first time and I had no idea what
I was doing. Part of me felt that
if I bury the hatchet, that means
you change. Not me. That the
nightmares and the pain, and
the plain sheer exhaustion goes
away.

But now I know that burying my
hatchet does not make this go
away. You will not change, and 
my hatchet is the only weapon 
that I can hold against you. It's the
only thing that makes you begin to
understand what is really happening,
and what has been done.

So this time, I am not burying my
hatchet. I dug it back up and I will
use it in my survival of cutting you
out and off, until nothing remains. 
And then, and only then, will I lay
it to rest, living in a world far away
from yours and I will find my peace.

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