Sweet or Bittersweet

Chapter 9

It must've hurt a lot.

Her biceps were looking so strong and her red hair was completely messy. The androgynous form of hers is so mesmerizing.

Suddenly I was taken back to my thought of "something happening between us". Yeah that thought.
"Umm..." i started and she looked at me still holding her fork.
"What is it? You don't like the food?"
"No! The food is delicious, i-i wanna ask something" fuck I couldn't even look into her cold eyes.
"Go ahead, shoot the question" she said and I took a deep breath.

"Did we have sex last night?"
She literally choked on the waffle and I immediately regretted asking that. She took some time to calm herself before answering,
"Just because you're wearing my hoodie and my brother's shorts doesn't mean we had sex okay? Don't worry I won't touch you unless you want me to" she casually said as if it was a normal conversation.

My ears, cheeks, basically my whole body burned up at her statement.
But I need to thank her for helping me last night. If it weren't for her then I would probably be sent back to that same hell i've been escaping all my life.

"Umm I just want to thank you for helping me last night. Even tho we don't know each other, I really appreciate your kindness" i said with my gratitude filled voice but the moment i said we don't know each other, she tensed. She clutched the fork tightly and her eyebrows clashed in disappointment.
Did I say something wrong?

"It was my duty to help you, don't mention it. What time is your class starting? I'll drop you to the university since it is near by" she said.
I became slightly stiff at the statement.

How do I tell her that I don't go to uni anymore.

"Umm the thing is that I don't go to university anymore. I...I had to drop out" I said while looking down and playing with my fingers in anxiety.
"What the fuck why? When did you drop out? Didn't you attend special classes?" She started to bombard me with questions.

Bombarding with questions. I hate it. It keeps reminding me of the horrible times i've gone through. All i did was answer questions which I had no idea about. Unknowingly tears started to accumulate in my eyes as I tried holding them back.

"Please don't ask me too many questions. I get scared" I whispered softly.
She saw my tear filled eyes. I could tell she wanted to hug me but I don't want anyone touching me. No i hate it. It...it reminds me...no no I don't want to re live it again please. Even tho she probably held me all night, i still don't want anyone near me. Those filthy hands, the disgusting voices, their dirty smirks and their nasty hands over me.

"NO! DONT COME NEAR ME PLEASE!!" I started to scream. At this rate I'm surprised how i still have my voice. It should've been gone by now.
"Kyle! Hey hey calm down i'm sorry for asking questions out no where" she said from her place, even tho she wanted to hold me, I ran towards a small corner and curled into a ball. I hid my face in my knees not wanting to look anywhere else.

"Kyle listen to me" i hear her voice as she leans down to face me.
"I promise you that you're safe here. Whoever is trying to hurt you will never come near you as long as i'm here. You can trust me" she softly said but still I wouldn't budge. How can I trust anyone? I cannot.
"N-no y-you'll s-send m-m-me b-back to those horrible people. Don't come near me!"

She sighed and said, "i told you i'm not going to send you to anyone. You're safe in my house okay? I swear to the heavens that nobody is gonna touch you as long as i'm here" this time i felt a bit of comfort from her words. This sense of comfort is so familiar to me. It's as if i've heard this same voice long back. But why am I not able to remember it?

I looked up and saw she had her arms wide open for me to hug her. And instead of being scared, i launched myself into her arms. She protectively wrapped her arms around me as I sobbed silently. She didn't say a word and just held me like i'm going to slip away from her any second. Her scent is so calming. I buried my face into the crook of her neck inhaling that mesmerizing scent. God I didn't want this to end. I wanna stay like this, protected.