midnight thoughts

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i closed the door to my house as quietly as possible, trying to not wake anyone up. then i walk down the same familiar path i choose to go through almost every night.

right, forward, old house, miss Green, mister Smith, playground, preschool, blue house, and finally, the small lake that opens the park.

i walk into the park, looking down at my dirty converse shoes. they've seen it all, i think. i see my favourite bench under the big tree that's making an umbrella with it's large branches covered with leaves. i sit down and bring my feet up to the bench, pulling ma legs into my chest and hugging my knees. 

as i am drifting away as always, looking at the dark lake glistening slightly from the moonlight, i hear footsteps. i look that way and i see a dark human posture coming my way. my heart skips a beat and i instinctivly get nervous. i have never encountered anyone during my night trips, so this seems dangerous. i'm alone in an empty park, a girl, with nothing with me besides the keys to my house. congratufuckinglations.

but it's too late to do anything right now, the person is already a few steps away from me. if i'm about to die right now, i will die. 

the mysterious man sits on the other end of the bench. as i look closer, i can see that it's a boy. he looks in fact young, maybe even my age. that calms my nerves a little bit. he doesn't say anything, just looks at the water in a similar way to me.

i'd gladly come back to watching the lake but i can't take my eyes off of him. he's mesmerizing. he's wearing baggy black cargo pants and a big black hoodie, with the hood thrown over his head. when i bring my eyes down, i see him wearing the same converse shoes as me, also looking like they've been through a lot. i can see the side of his face, his sharp jawline, smooth skin glistening in the moonlight, perfect nose and those shimmering dark eyes. he seems relaxed, like he doesn't care. even a tiniest little smile hanging on his lips.

he must have felt my gaze on him, beacuse he turned his head towards me. he doesn't say anything. then he reaches his hand out, as if he's offering me to take it. at first i think he's mad, what is he thinking? that he can just come up to a girl in the middle of the night and ask her to take his hand? 

but all my curses towards him disappear, when i take his hand. he pulls me gently closer to him, so that we're sitting side to side, knees touching. i feel weirdly at peace. all the anxiety that i came here with going away when i rest my head on his shoulder. 

i start staring at the lake again, this time more calmly, not so aggressively. he stares at the water too, i think. and we stay like that, until i push myself closer to him and wrap my hands around him and i feel him embrace me back. i hear every noise going down, feeling completely relaxed, my body letting loose as i melt into him. i feel myself falling fast asleep.

the next thing i remember is waking up on the bench, although not exactly the same as i fell asleep. im sitting on it, just leaning on the side of the metal arm. it's already day, something about noon, the sun is at it's highest and it's hurting my eyes. it's really warm and i hear kids laughing and people talking. everyone is acting normal, doing some daily activities. some people walk past me with their dogs, other with bags from the grocery store. some sit on the grass and talk or read books. other dogs are swimming in the lake chasing the ducks. and i just sit there, watching the water again, now glistening from the sunlight.

and then it hits me. the boy. where is he?

i look further across the lake, there is a bench, exactly the same as mine, just on the other side, like a mirror reflection.

but it's covered in shadow, when mine is shining in the sun.