Identity Disorder

Just Go

Alan's POV

Austin looked adorable whilst he slept. I didn't want to wake him but I didn't have a choice because Finn was knocking at the door and wouldn't go away. I gently shook Austin shoulder until his eyes fluttered open.
"Come in" Austin yawned. The door swung open and Finn leapt onto the bed. He looked at me, shocked.
"Why is he in your bed?" He asked, pointing at me.
"Because he's my boyfriend" Austin laughed, sitting up and pulling Finn onto his lap.
"You made some really weird noises last night. What were you doing?"
My tomato completion matched Austin's perfectly.
"Um- we were playing a game and got a bit excited. Go get dressed" Austin ordered.

Finn bounced off the bed and back into his room.
"Sorry about that" Austin said with and unconvincing smile.
"Don't worry about it. How are you feeling?"
Austin shrugged before getting out of bed and pulling on a clean T-shirt.
"What's wrong?" I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder with a concerned look on my face.
"Get off me" Austin yelled, jumping backwards.
"W-why? W-wha" I stuttered, fighting to hold back tears.
"Just...." Austin sighed deeply and slid down the wall. He hid his face in his palms, muffling his sobs. "Just go"

I stared at him. What had I done? I didn't stick around to find out. I quickly pulled on my clothes and grabbed my bag. I stopped at the door.
"I'm sorry" I whispered before running out of the house as fast as I could.

Sorry. For what? I don't know. What could I have done to make Austin react like that? I didn't stop running until I was at home, in my room. I shoved my face into my pillow and cried.
"What's up?"
I turned towards the door to see Becky stood there with Vic on her arm.
"It's nothing. Go away" I huffed.
"It's obviously not nothing. Give me a minute" I heard Becky say goodbye to her boyfriend then walk back over to me.
"Tell me, alan" she said softly, rubbing my back.
"It's austin" I sighed.
"What happened?"
"Don't tell anyone"
"I won't" even though I spent most of my time hating my twin, she was always there for me.
"I slept with him last night. Then this morning he freaked out when I went near him then told me to go" I sobbed.
"Aw Alan. It's not the end of the world" she sat me up and hugged me tightly. I failed to return her embrace, my emotions had drained my energy.
"But I don't understand what I did wrong. I need an explanation"
"Maybe if you give him time to calm down, he'll talk to you"
"I doubt it. How's thing with you and Vic?" I wiped the tears from my eyes and sat up against the wall.
"Great. He stayed over last night and we.... Y'know" she said with a cheeky smile.
"Good for you" I smiled weakly. "I knew this was too good to be true" I sighed.
"It'll be ok Als. I have to go to work now but you can text me if you need me" Becky hugged me again before leaving.

I searched around for my phone to text Alex.

Austin Carlile- 6 messages. 4 missed calls.

Alan I'm so sorry. I freaked out. I can explain. -Austin

Alan please. Give me a chance to explain. -Austin

Please just answer my calls. I need to talk to you. -Austin

I couldn't be bothered to read anymore of his pathetic texts.

I knew this was too good to be true- Alan.

It was harsh, I know, but why should I care? I decided to text someone who would actually care about me, Alex.

How did things go with Jack last night?- Alan

It was amazing. He's so kinky ;)- Alex

Guessing you're not a virgin anymore then ;)- Alan

Nope. What about you?- Alex

Me neither but Austin kicked me out this morning. I think it's over. -Alan

What? No! I'm coming over- Alex

No don't. I want to be on my own. Sorry- Alan

Ok dude. Text me if you need me- Alex.

Just as I put my phone down, it began to ring. I answered it just to find out what lame excuse Austin would use to try and lie his way out of this.
"What?" I answered in monotone.
"Alan please listen to me" Austins voice was filled with desperation. "I'm really insecure ok? I was sick because of my anxiety. I really like you, you see. And I don't want to loose you but I feel like I can't provide for you properly. That's why I was so worried. I'm so sorry about this morning. I was just in a really weird mood. Please forgive me"
I had anxiety to so I knew how Austin felt. His explanation seemed more genuine than I was expecting and made it hard for me to argue.
"Ok. I'll forgive you, but just this once" I warned. "Talk to me next time, instead of lashing out"
"Oh Alan thank you so much. Thank you thank you thank you" I could hear the relief in Austin's voice.
"I have anxiety too. I know how you feel" I admitted.
"It's shit isn't it. I promise I'll talk about it next time"
"Yeah it is. See you Monday"
"Bye darling"
"Bye"
I hung up.

I felt relived but still slightly angry. I hoped a nap would help me calm down. I curled up on the bed and was joined by our cat, Joey. His warmth helped me drift off into a light sleep where I remained for a few hours.