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chapter 39: M.I.A

The morning had come, and given that Willow had returned safe and sound, there was no need of waking up early. When Naomi left her tent only J was awake, although it was around 20 to 9, she simply took it as a consequence of the tiring events of last night and fixed herself a much needed coffee with her beloved morning fag. After her bit of early peace, she decided it was time to awaken her favorite duo.

"You know, it's rude to get back and not say hi!" Naomi exclaimed happily while opening Freds and Wills' blue tent. Her face dropped when she found Effy's naked body over Freddie's, both stirring in the inflatable matress. When Elizabeth realized what was happening, she covered her breasts with the green sheet, her face four times paler than before.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE... WHAT THE FUCK FREDDIE!" Naomi was beyond furious, and cared little about how her screams had waken everyone up.

"What?" He questioned in a daze before looking to his side. His eyes opened wide when they met Effy's bare figure, he looked back at himself and noticed he wasn't dressed either. With a worry draped face, he begged. "Please tell me we didn't..."

It's quite obvious you did." Naomi snapped.

"But... No... I was with Wills." He voiced, the pure confusion in his tone making Effy's chest ache.

"You obviously weren't." The blonde stated, motioning to the petrified brunette next to him.

"I don't know, I don't even remember!" His frustration had become clear even before tears began to build over his eyes.

"You're a prick."

"No, Naomi! I was high out of my mind! go ask Emily!" He exclaimed desperately.

"The fuck does she have to do with all of this?!" Naomi's blunt tone acted like sharp blades being stabbed onto his confused heart, each one meant him drifting a bit more far away from Wills, from them.

"Why are you..." But Jeremiah's words got caught up in his throat when his eyes took in the scene. Freddie noticed the pure disgust his best friend was feeling for him, it made him want to crawl into a ball and disappear forever. "Where the fuck is your girlfriend, Freddie?" The boy questioned between gritted teeth, bringing both realization and worry to the table.

...

The calls for Willow's name around the woods had been going on for about 30 minutes by now, each call feeding the worry a bit further.

"Please, Wills!" Freddie's broken voice called for the thousand time. He felt beyond guilty, tears glossing his eyes at the mere thought of her being physically hurt as well, impotence made each and every nerve in his body ache as his pained gaze desperately searched for a trace of her.

"Freddie..." Elizabeth spoke for the first time that morning. His teary eyes were filled with loathe when they found her crystalized ones.

"What?!" He snapped, a few tears falling from his angered frown. But Effy refrained and simply stared at him. Freddie detested her deer caught in headlights attitude.

"Stay away." His plump lips spat before turning around and continuing the search.

...

"Maybe she left." Dora suggested, the midday sun burning high over their shoulders.

"How?" Frederick hissed.

"Thomas did..." She shrugged, pain clear in her voice.

"I... She's... I..." He traced, all of this situation becoming a blur to his clouded mind.

"Maybe we should... Go back." Emily sheepishly suggested.

"No way." Naomi denied.

"But..."

"WE CAN'T LEAVE, OK?!" Freddie nervously yelled. "I can't!... I can't leave her." His voice broke just as his knees gave up on him, surrendering under his pained sobs. Jeremiah walked forwards and kneeled next to the broken boy, who jumped into his arms and held him so tight his loins began to shake. JJ knew that was a living he wouldn't be able to forget in his entire life, because even though he wasn't the best at social queues, in that moment he knew Freddie was beyond heartbroken, and noticed his fear in the way he grabbed his jacket.

"Come on, Freds... Come on" He asked softly after his cries had calmed down..

His feeble frame was guided by the smaller boy all the way to the car, where he absentmindedly waited for his friends to gather the stuff and return to Bristol. Tears couldn't stop falling from his bloodshot eyes as a deep rooted pain eroded his chest. His heart dreaded the moment where he found her eyes after what he'd done, how was he going to explain himself? She won't believe him.

If

That simple word drew him into a further dismal state as he hid his face under his hands. If she understands, If she believes, If she's ok, If she appears, If she's alive...

"Hey" A voice called as a hand caressed his curled back. When he looked up he found Naomi's ocean eyes, they were filled with the most pure fear, the one that's out of love, as well as a shade of sympathy, perhaps compassion. "She'll be alright... Has to be." Her voice was volatile and frail, it was hard to believe her words, not even she did. Frederick half nodded, inmutable expression.

"Let's go." Katie called before everyone got in, this time it was Dora who behaved as a copilot, with the first row of seats being Katie, Freds and Naomi, Ems in the trunk with J.

Freddie's gaze was fixed on his knees, hundreds of different scenarios harassing his mind. What if the poachers found her? What if she decided to hitchhike and it went wrong? Or she got back to camp right after they'd left, or an animal found her, or she got... but a small hand held his.

"Try not to think too much." Katie mumbled, a shy smile on her thin lips, he sighed. The car had fell silent, completely silent, and it stayed like that for the next 40 kilometers.

If that was our last hug... Our last kiss...

Effy parked on the side of the deserted road in an act of impulse.

"The fuck do you think you're doing?!" Snapped the skater boy. "We need to arrive, we need to check if she's home."

"I need to wee." Elizabeth excused herself before walking all the way into the field and placing the much needed call to 999 in useless hope of lifting a bit of guilt off her shoulders.

When she got back and heard Freddie's broken cries she had to take a moment before entering the car, where she found him sheltered in Katie's neck. Naomi holding back her own tears as both Emily and Jeremiah solemnly looked down, reflecting on his prior anguished words.

What if she's dead? She vanished while I was sleeping? How will I live with that?... She's the love of my life, for fucks sake!