My Little Shadow

Chapter Six: Mine

I start looking around to find something of my own, but her presence is all consuming and I can barely take my eyes off of her as she runs her fingers along the base of a tree.

She looks like a foreign creature out in the open. In her white clothes with her black hair contrasting so harshly with it. 

A group of new nurses start walking this way being led by the blonde nurse that showed me to my room on the first day. Three of them were men and I spot May rushing over to me, as she eyes them carefully. My heart swells in my chest at the feeling of purpose she makes me feel.

If I wasn't here, who would she run to? Would she just hide behind the tree until they passed by? Would she risk feeling uncomfortable?

They walk by us some of them staring relentlessly, probably trying to guess how crazy we are but there is one of the men that let his gaze run over May with a hint of lust and I see red. I start to walk towards him but May grabs my wrist and tugs me back to her.

I look into her blue eyes, and she shakes her head letting me know it's not worth it. I glance back at the man that has already turned his attention away from my shadow.

An emotion other than protectiveness swirls dangerously in my chest. Jealousy? Not quite. Possessiveness? Most definitely.

A thought, dangerous as it was, was stuck in my head that made no sense.

She's mine.

Only mine.

I'm keeping her.

I may be messed up in the head right now, but I knew that those thoughts were out of control and needed to be ripped away from me before they took on a life form and I started to act on them. She's not mine.

I wince at the thought.

Like the thought of her being with anyone else, the thought of her following around another man rips me apart.

I tug out of her hold and begin my search for something beautiful again, needing something to distract myself from my scary thoughts. It's not too long after I start my search that I find a butterfly wing, nearly black and it makes me think of the first note that May left me. Saying that she missed the rain.

Most of all it reminded me of her in general and she was beautiful. I pick up the wing and even though it's broken it's the most beautiful thing out here. It has a story, just like my shadow.

May comes walking toward me with what looks to be a rock in her hand. I make a huffing sound unwillingly. I can't help but notice that I picked something that resembled her while she picked something that resembled me.

I wonder if that rock is hollow on the inside.

She smiled when she sees the butterfly wing, I thought she might find it repulsing considering it did belong to an alive creature at one point in time, but she seems in awe of it. Studying it closely, no doubt noting all of the dark orange colors framed by black. 

She touches it gently as if she was scared it would crumble from her fingertips. "Beautiful. " I whisper the words and I'm glad she assumes I'm talking about the butterfly because I didn't want to explain to her that I wanted to drag her back to the group and throw it all in their face that I found the most beautiful thing in the yard, even in the world.

We walk back, we're one of the last ones and everyone sits in a circle on the grass.

"Okay so now I want everyone to share what they picked and why." She starts with Augie who paired up with Mrs. Sandra since May went with me.

He holds up a big leaf the color of wood. "I think this is beautiful because it's the color of my cat at home." He finishes his sentence with a giggle and a head throwback.

Everyone holds up their item until it's mine and May's turn.

She holds up her rock and does a little shake everyone already knowing that she isn't going to speak, I wish she would, so I knew why exactly she picked it.

I hold up the butterfly wing carefully. "I picked it because it has a story."

A story that reminded me of my shadow.

~.~.~.~.~.~

When I finally get to my room after helping Augie paint again, I spot a note on my bed. It's only half of a butterfly this time, like my wing.

My fingers excitedly slide over the paper, curious as to what she could have said this time. 

"The rock was beautiful because it's weathered storm after storm and it's still here."