Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 6

Fast forward 》20/12/2010

"You know, when I said yes to moving in together, I never said dealing with your sloppy and unorganized arse. I'm not your wife, Sam. I'm your fucking girlfriend!"

I slammed my hands on the dining table. I just got home from work, having to find Sam's clothes all over the house. He was playing video games, his feet rested on the coffee table with shoes on and empty pizza boxes lying all around the dining table. He paused the game and stood up, throwing his remote control to the floor.

He turned towards me with his arms crossed, a look of anger and disgust washed over his face. "Well, you may claim you're my girlfriend, but you sure as hell act like my wife, don't you, sweetheart?"

I could feel tears forming in my eyes. My hands still on the dining table, my head faced down. I'm tired. So fucking tired.

I never thought that after leaving with Sam for two years, that we'd end up being like those kind of couples. I didn't want to seem weak. I didn't want to seem bossy or the naggy girlfriend. I just wanted to be a girlfriend. Where did I go wrong? Where did we go wrong? We moved out from our parents' house two weeks after his proposal. It seemed like the right thing to do. I finished off my studies, got a job in photography. But Prince Charming here decided to continue studying and to stay home to 'help around the house'.

"Could you at least actually help around this damn house? Like, I don't know, house chores? Not be a slob? To at least try and get a fucking job? All you do is get back from University, play video games all day and order take out."

"I never agreed to find a job. I still want to continue my studies."

I scoffed. I've had enough of this. Saying the same words everyday, repeating the same conversations everyday. I love Sam, I really do. But I don't want to keep in mind that I will be getting married to this Sam in a few years time. I want the Sam that I fell in love with five years ago. The Sam who was ambitious, who would comfort me whenever I was stressed out or beyond frustrated. But it seemed like at that moment, that Sam was gone.

I took my car keys, purse, phone and the next thing I know, I was out the house.

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Shit.

Shit.

No.

How could I let this happen?

I was beyond disgusted. I was angry. I was everything a person could possibly feel after screwing everything in their life at that moment. I didn't want to be in this body. I felt like a stranger to myself. Home wasn't somewhere I wanted to go back to. Well, not yet. My phone wouldn't stop vibrating for the past hour as if it were about to explode. It was Sam. It was all Sam. Twenty missed calls and forty-six messages.

He hurt you, Belle.

You shouldn't feel bad.

Those words were repeated in my head, over and over again, reassuring myself that I wasn't the bad guy. Sam is.

After the fight, I got out of the house with him shouting for me. I couldn't handle it anymore. Why would this happen to us now? We were doing so well. Life was great with him but now? Now it's just arguments, bills, house chores and the list goes on. I got into my car and drove to the nearest bar I could find. Sam couldn't come after me because he doesn't have a car.