Coming to find you

Chapter one

« You're fucked up Dad. » I said in a calm voice before walking up the stairs and seeing my dad on the couch with a beer in his hand, completely screwed watching tv with his dirty clothes and his red eyes, Mom left, for a while now so why wouldn't I, there's nothing to save anymore why should I stay? I'm not like her, I tried, I stayed as long as I could in this shit hole trying to get him together but I'm done, I'm done living on a fucking farm with no fucking animals because we're too poor to afford our lives. So I did, I packed my things and went downstairs I took the last packet of Marlboro and the car keys left on the table next to my dad's dead soul and the zippo next to it and went out of the door without looking back, there was nothing to look at and to regret, I closed the door behind me, that was it, the door is closed and never to be opened again. I walked in the dark of my yard to the old truck my dad has for too many years, by the look of it, it could fall off at any moment now but I just went with it, there was no choice to make.

The road was relatively calm around here, this is what I love about the countryside it's really calm, the people are calm, and the birds and crickets love to talk, but I hated the road full of bumps. I love riding a car it's peaceful, the radio in there doesn't work anymore and I'm trying to bear this over-calmness even if it's truly hard. Honestly, I don't know where to go I just thought I would think about it on the road, thought it would come to my mind like lighting but I truly don't know much about my country, I've never been that far, I brought money because my dad is too lazy to spend it on anything but beer, so there was a bit in his drawer. I light up a cigarette, still riding taking random roads hoping to get closer to a gas station, a few minutes later I found one, I had finally left my little town and taken a real road, without stupid bumps on it, I parked my truck next to a station quickly filled the truck, paid and we are back on the road for hours of riding in the dark.

It's been hours that I've been on the road just thinking and smoking too much, I don't understand this feeling I had when I left earlier today, because there was none, I took a look at where lived and how I lived and everything went away, my senses were gone the only thing I saw at that moment was my dad truck, it made me think of the brand new truck he had bought a few years ago that my mom used to get away from this shit hole too, and I realized how similar I and my mom were, my dad has been like that since a can't remember but I didn't want to realize even when my mom left I thought she was just too weak to put up with him and that I will stay till the end for him but I was delusional, now I understand her, I grew up to be distant with life and closer to death, but now I left, I'm not there anymore, It didn't even take emotional strength to go it was too easy, but I guess that I was already gone.

Three hours have pass and I still wonder how this truck made it that far, I have made a few stops to buy food and water and slept a little bit cause I was feeling tired from these hours of ride, I tried to take this nap as a break from all of this shitty situation but practically impossible for to close my eyes and just relax but when I finally thought of nothing, so much noises were coming from outside my window so I just gave up on sleeping and rolled down my window to se was happening, there was a bunch of young people about my age walking, they were all dressed up and I guess went to a club and I couldn't sleep and I was also bored so I got out of my car fixed up my hair a little and went in the direction they were taking but a little far from them I was feeling like stalker for a bit, I figured they would stop when i saw a door with crazy lighting probably coming from inside the room, I took a cigarette and lit it up not far from the door to calm down a little because I haven't been to a crowded place for months and without anybody I know it can get stressful.

Later after a few cigarettes I was still debating if I should go inside but then I got carried away from my thought as I heard a quite loud group of four friends coming closer, they sounded like typical annoying boys, I was looking at them with a cigarette in my hand, I might sound and look creepy but one of these boys did catch my eyes and I probably did too by the way he stopped being loud when saw me looking, he just smiled and went in the club, I should probably go inside too I've been waiting outside for too long it's starting to get suspicious. When I was finally inside it was hot air hitting me right in the face, this sweaty smell was disgusting but what is a party without it? I tried to make my way to the bar but there were too many people and when I was finally at the bar it was scary how crowded it was so I just waited on the side for someone to propose me a drink as the narcissist cunt I'm, I wasn't wasting the money I had on a drink for sure, I still didn't have a real place to sleep so I'm waiting, there must be a desperate man too old to party somewhere.

«Well hello blondie. » the old man was looking quite young actually, and not so desperate but really good-looking honestly, even though I couldn't see him much he sounded good-looking.