Sharp Teeth || ONC 2023

Chapter 7 - Dracula Sir

Dao was immersed in a paper on how the Ministry of Undead Finance had stabilized the economy of the country when the front door to his apartment swung in and slammed shut with an alarming noise, making him jolt out of his reverie.

For a brief second, he lamented his flat's deposit money. As always, it was still a little difficult for zombies to fit themselves in spaces meant for vampires.

"Who's your favorite zomenby?" Rellek clapped happily.

Dao looked up from his files and gave them a death stare. "Not even a week ago you bit off my ear."

"Not the point. My point is, you don't even know any other zombie who's an enby. I've got to be your favorite."

"This is about my ear!"

"You grew it back!" Rel made a face at the memory of trying to chew Dao's ear. They loved that cartilaginous part of humans but now they knew that vampire ears were a no-go. "It tasted like sawdust in my mouth."

"Well, I liked that one. It's taking me some time to get used to the new ear," Dao huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "And how do you know what sawdust tastes like?"

"Desperate times, Daomir, desperate times."

Rel threw their sling bag across the room, aiming for the sofa, where it softly hit Dao's side. The happy clap in the beginning had been only a temporary emotion at the sight of their best friend. They went straight to the kitchen and the sharp creaking sound of the refrigerator door made Dao sigh. His friend was aggressively ransacking his fridge for snacks and a drink.

"I take that it was not a good date?" Dao asked as he saw Rel picking up a pint bottle of brain juice with 37% alcohol.

Rel made a face after the first gulp. But that didn't stop them from downing two more mouthfuls of the spirit. "Why do you have this in your fridge? You don't even drink." With the bottle snug in their grip, Rel made their way to the sofa with the intent to sit. The same sofa that was strewn with Dao's lecture notes and scripts. Afraid that they will end up crumpling the sheets if they got their hands all over them, Dao tried to sort his papers quickly to one side and cleared a Rel-sized space beside him.

At the risk of being tossed out of the window of his newly-rented third storey apartment, Dao still jabbed, "Those come in handy when you come crawling back to me after you've done something foolish." He pointedly stared at Rel's dark lipstick that seemed to be smudged slightly at the corners and said, "For example, right now." He opened his arms, waiting for Rel to crash into him. "What's wrong?"

Rel groaned and flung themself at Dao. So many years of this and Dao still tottered on the edge of the sofa, the force of their embrace knocking a little "oof" out of him. In a minute he steadied himself and rocked Rel in his arms to comfort them.

"Why are zombies so dumb?" Rel held on to his neck and grumbled.

"You are a zombie." Dao patted their back gently.