I shook my head, trying to grab a blanket. "Can we just talk like adults?" Colby asked as I shook my head.
"Not tonight. You broke my trust, Colby. That's something I can't fuck with." I said then turned to leave.
"I'll sleep on the couch. You're injured." Colby said with a sigh and walked over to me, taking the blanket.
"I wish you would just talk to me, though." Colby said as I sniffled. "Just go." I whispered, my eyes watering.
Colby sighed then left the room, taking the blanket with him.
I felt my face scrunch with pain as I turned and flopped onto the bed.
I knew I was probably being ridiculous, but Colby promised he would be truthful and that he wasn't putting any of us in danger anymore.
Obviously I felt bad for him since he has given everything up for me and my family.
In reality it probably wasn't dangerous for him to talk to Sam but I've seen first hand how quickly things could turn.
I was starting to think that this normal life wouldn't work out.
Colby was the love of my life but we wanted different things. I wanted normalcy and a family of my own. Colby wanted to be a leader of a gang and he wanted to be powerful.
Maybe we wouldn't work out in the end.
I ended up crying myself asleep, both out of physical pain and emotional pain.
I didn't sleep well though, because I didn't like fighting with Colby.
I trusted him with my life but couldn't get passed the fact that he lied to me.
As much as I didn't like fighting with him, I wasn't going to let him walk all over me.
When my alarm went off, I got out of bed and went to go get ready.
I was in so much pain this morning because I never ended up stretching last night but I was preoccupied.
"Shit." I whispered, realizing that my alarm never went off and the kids were going to be late.
I grabbed my phone to check the time, only to see a text on the screen.
Colby: wanted you to rest so I got the kids up and to school. We need to talk when I get home. I love you.
I sighed, tossing my phone to the side. I didn't want to talk to Colby. I was angry at him for going behind my back but I hated fighting with him.
I knew if we talked, I was going to say something really mean.
When I finally was able to get myself out of bed, I did my stretches which hurt like a bitch.
"Fuck." I whispered, tears pricking my eyes as Colby came into the room.
"Let me help you." He said as I shook my head. "I'm fine." I said and flinched away from him.
"Please just talk to me, Jules. I know you're upset but we can talk this out." Colby said as I clenched my jaw.
"What else are you hiding from me?" I asked as he shook his head. "Nothing, Julia. I'm not hiding anything." He said as I raised my brows.
"And how am I supposed to believe you?" I asked as he sighed. "I guess you can't. I just don't know what you want me to say or do." He said as my eyes watered.
"I want to know if you regret this." I said, my voice cracking.
Colby paused for what felt like forever, breaking my heart.
I wanted him to be honest but I didn't really want to know the truth.
It would break my whole entire soul if he said he regretted living a normal life for me because it would mean I would have to let him go.
I couldn't keep him somewhere he didn't want to be.
"No. I don't regret it, sweetheart." He said quietly. "I just miss the thrill of it all. I called Sam because I feel like I'm not myself anymore." He admitted as I sat on the bed.
"It was only going to be once or twice just to have the interaction with my best friend. He started talking to me about what's been going on with him though, and I got hooked." He explained.
"I never meant to hurt you." He said as I sniffled and looked away from him.
"How can I trust you to not keep talking to him behind my back?" I asked as he sighed.
"There's no good way to answer that." He said and walked over to me, crouching in front of me so he could take my face in his hands.
"Juliana...what's your middle name?" He asked causing me to breathe a laugh. "I don't have one." I said as he chuckled.
"Alright. Juliana White, I promise that I will stop talking to him, and will keep myself out of the crime world. If I break that promise you can cut my dick off." He said causing me to laugh.
"I don't want to be that controlling girlfriend who makes you do things you don't want to do." I said as he shook his head.
"You're not just my girlfriend, Julia. Your my future wife and the love of my life. I was wrong and I'm sorry." He said causing my heart to stop.
I knew that I loved Colby and that I wanted to marry him but he never expressed those words to me before.
Marriage felt like an unattainable future goal, due to the fact that I didn't think Colby wanted to get married.
It was something that I didn't know would even be possible. I loved Colby and I wanted to be with him, but I knew he would eventually want to go back to the crime world.
As much as he denied it, he knew that was where he belonged.
Even if he promised to never go back, the trust we had before was now broken or at least cracked.
