Not Just Because I Love You

one

(I'm the brunette Theas, the lighter brown one casue she doesn't like being called blonde since she's dumb asf)

Alice's POV:

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Thea screamed.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"We are late for class!" She said.

"I've never known the Thea Hardman to worry about being late to class."

"Well, sometimes Alice Madaway, you're wrong. You've just gotta accept that"

"Fine, but it's not my fault we're late."

"I never said it was," she huffed at me.

You see, it's really hard with Thea and I. Never really understood why, probably never will. We just make it work, and the whole of our year is really confused with how our friendship works. I'm not going to lie, so are we, but ever since, year 7, it's just worked.

4 years down the line here, we are arguing over the stupidest of things, but we don't like to call it arguing. Thea says it's banter, but I wouldn't say that either. The was it happens, the way we talk. It's defo flirting (I think).

Yeah, I know. I'm not sure. Yeah, I know it's stupid to think my best friend would ever like me back, in that way anyway. But recently, it's been really, I don't know, flirty and intense in a way. I mean, she sits next to me in so many lessons and we get told off a lot for talking and it's so funny cause we actually don't give a fuck. We talk and talk and talk and talk. She's the best person and can make me laugh and smile no matter how shit I feel.

We've talked about everything. Including relationships and crushes, so she's defo straight and has told me many times. Many times! I was starting to like loose alot of hope until she came over the other night and we were watching a TV programme on my laptop under the covers, and she decided to slip her hands under those covers and, slowly, intertwined her fingers with mine.

Literal shivers ran down my spine.

I dont know how someone can do that to me. I've never felt anything like it before, but her soft hands pressed against mine is something special. Something different. It doesn't feel real in a way.

I wish I could see what was on her mind of hers. She had never done that before and never spoke of it again. The whole night, it was like nothing happened, which I guess it didn't. Or did it? I wouldn't know I'm not good at this stuff.

The rest of our little sleepover consisted of movies and face masks, sat in my bed, and talked about school gossip for hours. We always sleep on my bed together. Always, so it was no different that night.

It's Tuesday today, and it has been 4 days since those events and I still have not a fucking clue on what any of it means. I dont think I will ever know.

Thea's POV:

It's been 4 days since that sleepover. The hand hold was out of comfort because I was scared. The show was really fucking scary! But in a way, I enjoyed her touch. It's been killing me ever since. I wanna tell her. I wanna hold her but I don't wanna fuck our friendship up, if she doesn't like me then what am I. A hopless girl who has a crush on her best friend and they don't even want her?

Ugh! Why is it so difficult?

We've been friends since year 7. Alice came out to me in year 8, and i've not ever been fussed about it, but now she's telling me about a crush she has on this girl I don't even know. Apparently, she's blonde, but she doesn't like being called that. She has blue/green eyes and is taller than her.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT IM UP AGAINST IF I DONT EVEN KNOW THEM!

Maybe I'm just really stupid, and it's a lie because I always talk about the ridiculous amount of crushes I have, and she feels bad because she doesn't have one. Although that doesn't sound like her. She doesn't care about that stuff, and the only crush she's ever had is on Hailee Steinfeld.

(I don't know who Hailee Steinfeld is. I've seen picture after picture and watched all the pitch perfects, but I've never realised before. I get that shes Alices obsession, but Alice is mine, and im not going to get over this one very quickly).

It feels awful not being able to talk about this stuff. If this ever happened, she would be the first person to know, and now I can't even talk to her without feeling bad, even if it's not about her.

I mean, the way we text is flirty but has never been a real thing, and we've always been like that. I bet she's text-flirting with her actual crush!

Alice's pure purpose to being on this earth was to be with me. That I'm sure of. Yes, I know I sound psychotic but I swear I'm not. Alice wouldn't have been able to go through school without me. To be honest, im not sure where I would be without her either. Lunch for me would probably just be me, myslef, and I. She reminds me every day of that. It's cute but a bit obsessive.

"Alice," I call her after class as she's leaving her desk.

"Yes, Thea?" She responds."What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing. I just am really struggling with science." I pause. "Can u come over later and help me study?"

Silence...

"Thea! I have to study myself, and you know we never actually study. We just sit up and watch movies, " she responds after a very long time of waiting.

"Well, yeah, but I swear, completely and soaly science tonight." I promise to her.

She rolls her eyes at me.

"How could I say no to that face?" She smiirks and does a little skip beside me and slaps the back of my head.

"Hey Alice, I saw that," said one of the teachers.

Alice ignores them like usual. Come on, we are in year 11. What's the worst we could do?