Crossroads

Chapter 12

Harry didn't think of a destination when he apparated out of the Burrow and found himself in the midst of a field with a mountain overlooking the horizon.

The soft wheat of the field blew in time with the wind as Harry robotically meandered through it. He figured that he was in another country because it had been night when he left, and it was daytime now. He briefly marveled at the fact that he was able to apparate out of the country before the guilt came back, figuratively dousing him in freezing cold water.

The man wandered through the field aimlessly for what seemed like an eternity until he was greeted by three travelers at the base of the mountain.

"The mountain is not passable, boy," the travelers spoke in unison.

Harry cocked his head in wonder before realizing that he was indeed at the foothills. He didn't know why, but it felt as if something was calling him to the peak of the mountain. His feelings were furthermore justified when he noticed a shining light that seemed to penetrate his very soul at the top.

The wizard chose to ignore the travelers and began the long arduous journey to the peak. He didn't miss the incredulous look that they gave him nor did he miss them shaking their heads, as if calling him insane.

Once Harry was out of earshot, the travelers began to converse amongst themselves.

"He can see it's not passable? Why would he do this?" The youngest of the group asked.

"He'll be lucky to even be living after this," the older one added.

"He's not come here to live," the eldest traveler sagely replied, "he's come here to die."

The freezing air nipped at Harry's skin through his thin clothes but he paid no mind as he chased after the guiding light that pulsed even brighter with each step that he took. His body was begging for rest but Harry refused to submit to its demands, he had failed enough, he wasn't going to fail yet again.

The wizard cast a quick warming charm on himself to avoid frostbite as he purposefully climbed each jagged rock along the mountainside, noticing that the light seemed to pulse in a faster rhythm. Despite his best efforts to quicken his steps against his protesting body, he settled to move along at a slower pace.

The air grew thinner and Harry grew weaker but he was unmoving in his conviction. With just a few more steps, he would find himself at the peak. He pushed himself farther than he had ever gone and found himself at the top. The light that he chased, however, was nowhere to be found. Instead, Harry could barely make out a shadowy silhouette that seemed to embrace the whips of the brisk wind.

"Something isn't it?" Harry heard as he blinked against the cold wind to focus on the silhouette ahead of him.

"Feels like you could see the entire world from up here," the silhouette continued as Harry trudged forward to meet it.

Harry noted the familiarity of the voice but struggled forward to get a clearer view. Nothing on earth would have prepared him to see the healthy and very much alive frame of one Sirius Black.

The wizard wanted to run up and hold the man to prevent him from ever leaving again but his mind quickly realized that this was just a figment of his imagination. He witnessed Sirius die firsthand through the veil, that was something no man could come back from.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He brokenly asked as he stared up at the misty sky.

"You're not happy to see your Godfather, pup?" Sirius asked with his trademarked lopsided grin.

Harry smiled despite the immense pain in his heart before nodding, "I just wish you were r—real," he waveringly said.

"But I am, pup," Sirius was now laughing, "you of all people should know, just because something is happening in your head doesn't mean it's not real."

The dam broke and Harry allowed his emotions to overtake him while he wept openly into the mountain air.

"Remember Harry," Sirius started, breaking Harry from his misery, "the ones who love us, never really leave us."

"Why are you here?" Harry asked as he batted away his tears with his hands.

"Because you need me."

He didn't think it was possible given the circumstances, but Harry was filled with a rare type of joy when Sirius so bluntly laid out his explanation. It felt amazing to have someone come to him when he needed help, even if it were just a figment of his imagination.

"You know, I remember the night," Sirius swallowed thickly, "your parents died. I was powerless to do anything."

Sirius took a deep breath, "Every night, I'd see their face. The face of my brother and the woman he loved, cold and lifeless on the ground. I felt so guilty because I wasn't there for them, I wasn't there for you. They had died, while I was forced to live."

Harry couldn't find the purpose of this story but he felt as if Sirius needed to get this off his chest. He resolved to listen further.

"The nightmares came quickly during Azkaban. Every night I'd be subjected to seeing James' and Lily's corpses. Even after I escaped, they'd keep coming, and I begged and pleaded for anyone to kill me, to save me from them, to let me join them in death," Sirius continued, now visibly gaunt.

"Did the nightmares ever stop?" Harry felt the need to ask.

Sirius nodded while a soft smile crossed his face. By now the warming charm had worn off but Harry didn't notice as the warmth of Sirius's smile flowed through his body down to its core.

"Yes," Sirius answered as he continued to tenderly smile at his godson, "when I met you."

The tears once again came to Harry's eyes at the genuineness of Sirius' declaration.

"You reminded me that there was still something worth fighting for, that there was still good in this world." Harry sadly smiled as Sirius continued his proclamation. "You were my world."

"I miss you, pup," Sirius sadly confessed.

Harry closed his eyes and allowed the winds to lash against his face in painful comfort. When he opened them, Sirius was gone and he was left alone at the peak.

"I miss you too, Sirius."

A/N: If you've not realized, this chapter is heavily inspired by a scene in Batman v Superman.