My Wee Mate

46 - Shattering Now

      I have to face this all on my own.

    "Where did he.." My words crackle from disuse. I yearn for a glass of water. "Where did he go?"

     I'm hoping that I'll blink and that heavenly weight of Fraser pressed against me will be back, pinning me to the ground and sharing his warmth. I'm imagining it so thourouly that I pray he'll simply appear again and he'll assure me that all will be well, and I need not fear any more.

     It's a fantasy that I know would be too grand for one as unlucky as myself.

     Father slams a fist to the bars caging me in.

    "Hell if I know! You are his slave, you're the one who should know." He huffs, face turning red as he works himself into a frenzy.

    "Father, why am I imprisoned?" I manage to say evenly.

     There is no flicker of remorse or endearment in his eyes, not that there ever is, but sometimes I wish for it, if only for a moment.

    "Because you are no longer my daughter." He spits, and my heart cracks a little bit more.

     "Pastor Ewan has confirmed it, says you are too far gone. That monster turned you into a witch. You survived his assault. No one should be able to survive that. Not even an exorcism can save you now. You are still under that monster's control."

    "He is not a monster! He loves me, and I love him!" I demand, as loud as my voice can manage at the moment.

    My father laughs so hard that spittle comes flying from his lips. I fix the meanest glare on my face that I can, and his humor dies.

     I've never been fierce before my father never let my fury show: Today is different, because today I have nothing to lose. I've already lost it all.

    "Hearing you say that is humorous, lass, and I'll tell you why. That monster, because aye, he is a monster, left you. He left you as soon as he took your blood. He gathered his strength and decided he didn't need you anymore." He crouches down, leaning into my space with glee in his malicious face as he prepares to wreck me with his words.

     "He may have convinced you he loved you, but as soon as you lost your value to him, he dropped you and ran. Now, tell me again, do you think that is what love is?"

     The tears are back, stinging and slashing through me.

     "That's a lie." My voice is fierce, but I'm beginning to tremble.

     He barks a laugh as he stands swiftly, belly jiggling with mirth.

    "Then where is he if he loves you so?"

     My lips press together as I refrain from answering.

     If my heart was cracking earlier, its shattering now.

     "It is obvious that Pastor Ewan was right, you are possessed, and that leaves little options." Father shakes his head, "Your execution will take place next eve, and then we will be rid of this nonsense for good."

     My body stills, all signs of trembling and shaking disappearing.

    "I should have known you would be susceptible to the wiles of a demon. You've always been so weak, pathetic. I'll be relieved when I no longer have to acknowledge you as my daughter."

    His words sting, but I don't let myself cry until he leaves.

     But when he leaves, the dam breaks.

     I fall forward, sobbing and clutching at the cold ground as agony slashes through my heart, or what is left of it.

     My execution, my death, will happen in less than a day. My whole clan will watch as I'm burned at the stake for my treachery and witchcraft. It's not common, but it's happened before. I can still remember the stench of burning flesh, and soon it will be my own body that provides that smell.

     All because I fell in love, and I was willing to do anything for that love, even if I fooled myself into believing it would somehow work in the end.

     I thought I was going to die beneath Fraser from his thirst. I was satisfied with that ending. Sacrifice for the man I love. Somehow, and I'm not sure how, I survived that sacrifice. I hate to admit it, but it didn't kill me, and he left me to die here all alone. There is no way around that.

     I choke on a hiccup, sobs still retching through me like a storm of emotion.

     Maybe he'll come back, maybe this was part of the plan.

    I sniffle, considering this. His clanmates helped me get him out, maybe they're the ones that left me here. Surely Fraser has awoken by now? Surely he's determined to free me.

    He promised he would never leave me behind. I need to hold out hope.

    Decided, I nod my head to myself and shut off the tears. It's time to stay strong. I must keep my energy for my escape when Fraser comes for me. He'll arrive before I'm put to death. I know he will. My love for him extends into trusting him.

     I've saved him over and over, and now it's his turn. It's just a matter of time.

    The cold takes over me again, nearly freezing my tears into icicles on my face. How did Fraser endure it for so long? I must be more susceptible to it, being human and all.

    I rub my hands back and forth, blowing on my numb fingertips to try to warm them as best I can.

    My fingers catch on my inner wrist, feeling the marks still lingering on my pale skin. It makes me smile, and I trace the places where Fraser's teeth once were.

    My heart stutters when I think about him. I can't possibly be mind controlled into this state. This feels so right, feels like destiny. My dedication, my love, it's all organic and freely given, it hasn't been taken from me against my will. If it was, I wouldn't fight it. It's as if my heart belonged to him long before we met.

     Curling up in a ball, I let myself feel some sort of hope as I fall back asleep, picturing the bearded face of the man that I love.

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